I have to be. If I wasn't in denial, I would be falling apart.
Andrew is leaving in the morning. At 5:45am, I am officially on my own. I can't put into words how I feel about this. I am so excited for him - he gets to visit 4 countries on this trip alone, and probably see cool things.
We have spent the day preparing for him to leave. We went and bought him a camera (because the scrapbooker in me INSISTED that he take pictures of every place he goes) and a bunch of other stuff. Oh, and he is the best husband ever because he surprised me by replacing our stolen GPS. If I'm going to be lonely, at least I won't be lost and lonely.
We went to dinner at Ruby Tuesday, one of our new favorite places. It's especially awesome because of the salad bar selections for Eva - she was in heaven with the craisins, sunflower seeds, peas, oranges, and cheese that we piled on her plate.
But now the day is coming to an end and our last few hours together are here. And tomorrow morning before the sun even comes up, he'll walk out that door, off to travel the world, and leave me. I'm dreading the silence that will follow the sound of the closing door. My empty house and my sleeping children, waiting for me to pull myself together, say a quick prayer, and assume my new role as a husbandless military wife.
I'm going to be fine - I know I will. It's just coming up on the transition that is making me shake in my boots. Except I'm not wearing boots because we have a no-shoes-in-the-house policy. But if I were wearing shoes of any kind, they would be visibly quivering. It's not until I started writing that my anxiety finally came to the surface. So maybe if I stop writing, my anxiety will go away again. I think I'll try that.