Friday, January 9, 2009

Throwing in the towel, as they say.

See, part of the reason I have been blogging so publicly about my being on South Beach diet is to give me more accountability. If I tell the whole world about it, then the whole world will be my support system. Which you have been. I have received so many supportive comments. This morning I stepped on the scale again. No more weight lost. I am discouraged.

So after I got breakfast for Eva, I went to the pantry and got out the Oatmeal Squares. I set them on the counter. Eva said, "It's Mama's cereal." I said, "Yes, it is." And then I started sobbing.

I can't do it anymore. I hate eggs. I love cereal. I can't live without fruit and grains. I mean, I can, because I did. For 8 days. But I can't do it anymore. I am moving myself into Phase 2 of the diet, in which I can eat a lot more things I couldn't before. Like fruit. And whole-wheat pasta. And whole-wheat bread. And whole-wheat tortillas. It opens up a whole new world, you know? Because frankly, as much support as I get from the rest of the world, I don't have my #1 support at home with me, as he is all the way across the world at the moment. And I can't do it without him.

So here's the deal: I'm throwing in the towel on the impossible Phase 1. Don't think less of me. But if I'm not losing weight and I'm miserable, then that is reason enough for me to move forward with better, more wholesome, eating habits.

My quote for the year is, "Happiness is the object and design of our existence." (Joseph Smith) In putting that in perspective with eating, I have decided that food seriously makes me happy. I love making food. I love giving people food. I love eating food. Since food is such a great source of happiness in my life, it is not logical for me to make it a huge source of stress. On the flip side, I won't be happy either if I indulge in every single craving and go back to eating like I was before. So I will continue to eat treats with my new-found self control and only have one when I really want it. Maybe two, if I have to. :) I don't believe in moderation in ALL things (see this talk which changed my perspective) but I do believe in moderation in most things. Eating being one of them.

So with that confessed, I will got forth and eat my cereal. Which is full of healthy things like fiber and vitamins, with only a little sugar. Goodbye, South Beach diet Phase 1. I won't miss you one little bit. But thanks for the 5 pounds.


Christine said...

I've never been able to last for more than a week on Phase 1. Good for you for sticking to it for 8 days. Last time I tried SB I started with Phase 2 :)

Thanks for inspiring me!

Lisa said...

You are not throwing in the towel- you are just moving forward! You'll do great.

Kara Camille said...

I like what Lisa said--You're just moving forward. Because HELLO you still lost 5 lbs and 5 lbs is 5 lbs.

Back in the day when I used to run, I remember thinking, 'ya know, if I lost just 5 or 10 lbs running would be a lot easier.' I had a mental image of a 5-10 lbs arm weight on my thigh and that made me realize that a little bit really does make a difference. Because doing 10 reps with a small weight doesnt feel like much, but when you're carring it around all day, it is. wow--long explanation. So you're doing great! And enjoy the next phase and allow your self to be happy!

Melissa Andreasen said...

How can you live without cereal? I could eat it for at least two meals a day if I let myself. You should eat your cereal and bread and just keep working hard!

Lacking Productivity said...

I don't know if you are interested or not, but I did Weight Watchers a few years back and lost a lot of weight (unfortunately, I went back to old habits and gained it back). I am getting back on it because I lost weight, felt good, and never felt deprived because you can really eat what you want as long as you balance out your foods and make sure to get all the good stuff in (like veggies, light dairy, and protein).

Even when I wasn't doing the program, I got into the habit of knowing how many "Points" everything is so most of the time I know just about how many calories, grams of fat, and fiber are in my foods (which only makes you feel more guilty when you are totally not dieting and still eat it, even though you know how much it is hurting you).

Anyways, with all sincerity, I think you look great. I always have.

Leah said...

Well, I think you are amazing for just trying out that diet, I can't live a day without grains. Plus not having Andrew there, must make it even more difficult, I need Jared for support whenever I try to do something difficult. I read part of the article you referred to and really enjoy it. Thanks for sharing.