Hev I mentioned that I am - again - doing South Beach diet? I have a serious love/hate relationship with this diet.
See, I KNOW that it works. The first time I tried it, in late summer of 2007 - it totally worked and I lost almost 15 pounds in two weeks. And it's not an unhealthy diet, like the juice diet or anything. I looked good, I felt good, and I kept the weight off without continuing onto phase 3 of the diet, a.k.a. living a healthy eating lifestyle.
Then I got pregnant and learned to cook, at almost the same time. My Leighton pregnancy was so much better than my Eva one - I gained only 30 or so pounds as opposed to the 65 pounds I gained with Eva. I attribute that to my newfound love for being in the kitchen for reasons other than to warm up a frozen burrito.
But seriously, friends, just because I gained less weight doesn't mean the last 10 pounds are any easier to lose. So I decided that I would just bang it out - phase one of South Beach Diet, 14 days and BAM, I've lost the baby weight.
Except HELLO, it is so much harder now. Last time I did this diet, Eva was eating baby food. It was only Andrew and me that ate real meals. This time, I have to feed Eva normal food. And she doesn't really go for mahi mahi and squash. She's more about the crackers and bread and...sorry, I think I just drooled on the keyboard. Crackers have never sounded so good. Anyway. Today, as I heated up corn dogs and made cookies for her and the kids I babysat all day, the smell was delicious. Corn dogs? Honestly, Steph? They smelled DIVINE. I sat munching on my pathetic little salad and trying to encourage my brain to stay strong.
I'm on day 2. I've lost one pound so far. I have no energy and I want to die for most of the day. Dinner is fine, because I eat a real meal. I'm really not an egg person in the morning, but that is pretty much all I can eat for breakfast. And I'm not really a salad person at lunch, but that's pretty much all I can eat. I mean, I can have a couple slices of fat-free deli meat and a cheesestick. And milk. I'm really downing the milk. But who has time to actually cook at lunch? I'm much better and throwing together a sandwich.
I'm not giving up. I'm really not. I will lose this weight, and I will look good at the Moab Canyonlands 5-mile run in March, in which I am running. (Please cheer for me in your heart.) I will get my hot body back. Just in time to get pregnant again. The words "vicious cycle" seem morbidly appropriate here.
All you healthy lifestyle people, please don't leave a comment about how diets are bad for you and you should just eat in moderation, blah blah blah. I KNOW THAT. But if I had the self-control to eat in moderation all my life, I wouldn't NEED a diet. Ya know? As soon as I knock off a couple pounds around my flabby middle, I'll try to eat sweets in moderation and have portion control and all that jazz. For now, sweets are merely a dream that makes me want to cry with pure desire. And bread...bread, you are my best friend. Crackers, you too. All you easy-to-eat foods, you who stock my pantry shelves and stare at me when I open the doors and glare at you with ravenous eyes. I miss you. And I'll be back in 12 more days. 12 pounds less of me.