Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Breast vs. Bottle

Actually, it should be Milk vs. Me. And milk is winning. I feel like milk, in both forms, is taking over my life. Pumping, feeding, burping, pumping some more...I feel sometimes like it never ends.

But in fact, I am grateful for this. As some of you know, I swore off breastfeeding after my last experience. My experience of being de-motherized when a fluke of nature happened and my milk never came in. (I apologize to any males reading this, but...come on. I just had a baby. What do you think I have to talk about besides breastfeeding and other such gross things?)

At the end of this pregnancy, aka 2 weeks ago, Andrew and I argued regularly about it. He wanted me to try again, I refused. I swore I wouldn't put myself through that trauma, both physical and emotional, ever again. Formula is FINE with me. But after my body kicked in and decided to be normal and produce milk like every other mother in the world, I decided to give this whole breastfeeding thing a try. Due to some physical complications (can I say inverted nipples on the internet? Well, I just did...Too much information? Probably. Sorry, readers.) I have difficulty actually feeding Leighton. But I am so grateful that milk production is not a problem this time.

Oh, and probably the best thing about it is, when I walk around topless (come on all you moms, you know you've done it too) I feel like a porn star. Natural cleavage on my body? Who knew such a thing was possible? But my question is, why can't I have big boobs and a flat stomach at the same time? Nature is a cruel beast.

I hope this highly sensitive topic doesn't offend anyone. If you don't want to hear about the status of my boobs, maybe you should stop reading my blog for a while. Because, let's be honest. They are on my mind alot. Because it's pretty much all I deal. All day long. Hey, at least I'm not posting pictures with this. Come on. Even I have limits.


Samye said...

Congrats on nursing this time! It is hard...time consuming...etc BUT the really good thing is that it burns fat a lot faster...meaning eventually you get that "flat" stomach and porn star boobs....because lets face it who wouldn't want those things? Anyway- keep the updates coming, I love hearing about your cute little family!!

Oh and- a post awhile ago that you had said something about a woman who said the first three months are the hardest... I think no matter how close or how far apart your kids are it is always an adjustment to have to take care of one more little person. You are a great mom so I know you will do a great job...just remember to take one day at a time and remember to change both kids diapers (i had a hard time remembering who i had changed last and when!!)

Lily said...

Your blog always makes me laugh.... And cry with posts like the last one... It's always nice to know we are all human ( :

Lindsay & Kenny Weston said...

hahaha-welcome to the world of nursing :). I'm so glad that you get to experience it. I'm sure this makes Andrew happy--maybe he had been secretly fasting and praying for it your whole pregnancy. Either way, looks like he won this one :). And no, I didn't walk around topless, I was usually too full so it hurt unless I had some support. Not only that, but it was like uncontrollable and would just start spraying or leaking out randomly. I hear that gets better with each time you nurse, but it grossed me out having to change nursing pads! who'd a thought? what did they used to do in the olden days?

HayHay said...

Oh my goodness Stephanie. I have tears running down my cheeks. Not from this post obviously (nursing wasn't a wonderful experience for me and Jake either). I just got done reading your past few posts on you having your little guy. It was so touching. He is absolutely beautiful. I love your honesty in writing about what you would tell yourself on July 8th. It sincerely touched me. I've been feeling for a while that Jake needs a little brother or sister, but I've been putting it off for selfish reasons. I know now that it will be worth it. Birth is a miracle. Thank you.

Lacking Productivity said...

Seriously, I hope you don't mind that I am reading about your boobs. You freaking kill me! Little did I know, even when I saw you on a regular basis in school, that you were so witty and raw.

Elise said...

Just keep reminding yourself that breastfeeding burns an extra 500 calories per day...That's what got me through those first oh-so-painful two weeks.