The night before Mothers' Day: Things I Didn't Know I Would Become when I Became a Mother

When I entered into this career of motherhood, I knew certain things about it. I knew it would be hard. I knew I would do alot of cooking and cleaning and other such motherly things. But there are a few things that I have become that I never thought about before I became a mom. Oddly enough, the first few started with the letter "m." (How appropriate.) So I decided to just continue it until I couldn't think of any more M ones. :)

A mountain: Both in the sense that I am large (much larger than pre-mom days) and in the sense that people climb up and down me all day long. Fortunately, erosion does not apply. Or maybe, unfortunately. I sure wouldn't mind some erosion of my abdomen.

A maid: I knew being a mom would involve keeping the house clean. And I knew that my mom worked hard to keep our house clean. But until recently, I didn't have a foggiest idea of the incredible magnitude of that task. At the end of the day, I sometimes feel like all I have done is clean. Clean the kitchen, clean the dishes, clean up rooms, clean up poop, clean little bodies and teeth and ears...it never ends. I'm a cleaning machine. And yet, you wouldn't know that by looking at my house.

A magician: I seem to have inherited magic powers with the title of mother. When I kiss Eva's owies better, they magically disappear.

A musician: I am almost constantly singing to my kids. Singing to calm them down, singing while we dance, singing the clean-up song, singing to distract them, singing to bring the Spirit in our home, singing in the car, singing along to movies.

A man: Not in the physical sense. Obviously. But when Andrew is gone, as he so often is, I have to step in and play both roles. I can't say I'm very good at being a Dad, though. Come home, honey. Also, I have really short hair like a man. Or, as Andrew says, like a 14-year-old boy. And I look dang good with it.

A manicurist: No matter how often I cut those little nails, they still manage to scratch me at least once a day. I should just keep a pair of clippers around my neck at all times.

I have definitely expanded my resume. Don't you think?