Dear baby

{This is me the day before giving birth to Eva. You may not recognize me with my nose the size of a Twinkie, but it is in fact me. Me, over 200 pounds. I'm sorry, did you think I was kidding when I said I was swollen? And look at the size of that BELLY!}

Dear baby,

Here you are at 12 and a half weeks gestation. I know you are so small and your brain probably can't process much. But I have a very important request. I'm asking this early on, before it's too late.

You see, I am the type of mama who gets fat when I'm pregnant. My belly isn't cute, at all. It's massive and stretches across my whole body - even my back. So what I'm asking is if you could somehow curl up in such a way that I look like one of those cute girls carrying around a basketball under their shirt. Don't spread your baby-ness to other parts of my body. Take all those calories you are making me crave and use them for energy to make me into a cute pregnant woman.

I just worked so hard to shrink down and now, just shy of the second trimester, my jeans are already getting tight. Too soon, baby, too soon. There is plenty of time to grow later. Please keep me un-pregnant-looking as long as possible. And if you must start poking out, please try to look cute and round.

Thank you.

Your partner in growing,

Mom