Thursday, November 6, 2008

Officially white trash

Tonight, I hit a new low.

According to my workout program, I was supposed to do 30 minutes of walking today. Andrew didn't get home from work until later than usual, and I never got around to going to the Y during the day with the kids. (It's about 25 minutes away so it's quite an ordeal.) It was raining pretty hard, and now that it gets dark so early, it cut my walking time off. I didn't want to drive all the way to the YMCA alone just to walk. So I came up with a totally brilliant, totally white trash idea. I WENT TO WALMART.

That's right, folks. Not only is Walmart where I shop, it's also where I work out. Pathetic. But it worked out great. I just went and walked around in my workout clothes (which look suspiciously like pajamas...)for my 30 minutes, and then picked up a few things at the end. (Honestly, how can you spend a half hour walking by every thing in that store and not think of things you need? It was bound to happen.) I found a copy of Real Simple magazine (highly recommended to me by Marelize) and used my trusty old talent of reading while I walk. Talk about multi-tasking. Working out, reading, and shopping.

But while walking around, I had ample opportunities to see the people of my community in action. There were plenty of people in the obesity wheelchairs (who conveniently kept pulling out right in front of me and cutting me off), which was to be expected. But the level of white trashness kind of surprised me. See, coming from Oklahoma, it was to be expected there. Stringy-haired, dirty people without teeth are pretty much the norm there. But here? I am disappointed to report that yes, indeed, they are here too. White trash people are all over now, folks. Not to be mean and stereotypical. But I am.

I actually, truly, honestly overheard this conversation between a pregnant girl and a man, who I assume was the father, although clearly not her husband. (I did a couple laps around the hygiene aisle to keep listening to them.)

Girl: (talking loudly and obnoxiously) I'm not going to your house tonight. I don't care what you say, I'm not going.
Boy: Why not?
Girl: Because! I don't want to sit there on your couch watching a movie and getting fleas again. (Then she scratched her round stomach.)

Wait, did I just type the word FLEAS? Yep. Because that's what she said. A human, pregnant woman in America got FLEAS from her boyfriend's couch. It doesn't get more repulsive than that.

I'm so grateful for the chance I had to observe the fine society around me while doing my daily workout. I think I'm going to go take a bath now and get the Walmart germs off me. Who knows - I might have gotten fleas.

8 comments:

Amy said...

Check this cookbook out, I think you would love it.

http://www.amazon.com/Everyday-Food-Great-Fast/dp/0307354164

Melanie said...

SICKENING!!! Fleas?!!? The cleanliness (or in this case, the lack thereof) of some people sometimes astounds me.

Lisa said...

WOW. Quite the scene!! I'm surprised too that it could possibly rival Enid.

Brittani said...

I have that cook book and think you will like it!

The Millers said...

I know what you mean about Walmart - I always feel that the child molesters are lurking in the corners-
Keep up your training program! A few years ago I started running and used the runners world programs and they do work - once you make it habit you will become addicted and start running on vacations even!! I started registering for races to keep myself motivated - 5k first then a few 10k and now I LOVE the 1/2 marathons!
I can't wait to see you guys on Thanksgiving. It's going to be so much fun : )

Alison said...

Whenever I feel homesick, I go to Wal-mart. It reminds me of SLC because let's be honest, wal-mart shoppers are wal-mart shoppers...

I didn't know people could get fleas until this post! That's just gross!

Elise said...

I love WalMart. I save money, and I live better :).

Lindsay & Kenny Weston said...

HAHA! That's super gross. Next time try the mall, if you're anywhere close. It makes for longer stretches of walking, not so many aisles, etc. We would occasionally run through it during cross-country. It also decreases your chances of getting fleas :) Good job on being so dedicated to your work-outs. I really need to at least be walking every day, it would probably help with my leg cramps at night. I just never bring myself to do it ha.