Today I decided that this sentence, "You look tired," is possibly the rudest insult that can be paid to someone in a casual conversation. Tactless people say it so often that it has become a common conversation starter--nay, a comment made in passing. I have had this said to me on so many occasions in the last few weeks that I am truly beginning to get offended. The weird thing is, it is never by someone I know--always from random, impolite strangers.
And this is the question I have for all those people who feel that asking someone this question--especially a very pregnant someone with an out-of-control one-year-old--is appropriate: Who do you think you are? Honestly. Do you feel like saying that is a demonstration of your geniune concern for the individual? Let me tell you--concern is not what comes across. Here's why. There is nobody in the world who feels tired that needs someone to tell them they look that way. You just might as well say, "You look ugly," or, "You look fat."
Obviously I'm tired. I'm lugging around alot of extra weight, not to mention my sore hips and back and crotch; and Eva doesn't sit still. Ever. I don't sleep well, I don't feel well, and I just want to have this baby. I realize that I am tired. I don't need anybody to tell me that I LOOK it.
It would be so much better when, upon seeing me, someone might think to themselves, "Wow. She is very pregnant and looks busy with such an active little girl. She looks tired, but I bet right now she doesn't need to hear that." Then they might approach me and say something elaborately dishonest and kind, like, "You look so wonderful! I can't believe you can look SO great when you probably feel so tired." That would be much better.
So friends, next time you are in a situation where you see a pregnant lady, just go up and tell her how great she looks. Lie your face off. I promise--it will make her day.