Sunday, June 22, 2008

You look tired.

Today I decided that this sentence, "You look tired," is possibly the rudest insult that can be paid to someone in a casual conversation. Tactless people say it so often that it has become a common conversation starter--nay, a comment made in passing. I have had this said to me on so many occasions in the last few weeks that I am truly beginning to get offended. The weird thing is, it is never by someone I know--always from random, impolite strangers.

And this is the question I have for all those people who feel that asking someone this question--especially a very pregnant someone with an out-of-control one-year-old--is appropriate: Who do you think you are? Honestly. Do you feel like saying that is a demonstration of your geniune concern for the individual? Let me tell you--concern is not what comes across. Here's why. There is nobody in the world who feels tired that needs someone to tell them they look that way. You just might as well say, "You look ugly," or, "You look fat."

Obviously I'm tired. I'm lugging around alot of extra weight, not to mention my sore hips and back and crotch; and Eva doesn't sit still. Ever. I don't sleep well, I don't feel well, and I just want to have this baby. I realize that I am tired. I don't need anybody to tell me that I LOOK it.
It would be so much better when, upon seeing me, someone might think to themselves, "Wow. She is very pregnant and looks busy with such an active little girl. She looks tired, but I bet right now she doesn't need to hear that." Then they might approach me and say something elaborately dishonest and kind, like, "You look so wonderful! I can't believe you can look SO great when you probably feel so tired." That would be much better.

So friends, next time you are in a situation where you see a pregnant lady, just go up and tell her how great she looks. Lie your face off. I promise--it will make her day.


Elise said...

Ha ha!
Wow, I can't tell you how glad I am that you posted that! I have always wondered why people EVER thought it was okay to tell someone else that they look I just want to know what your reply is! My usual "Why , thank you!" usually catches them off guard :).

Kira Joy said...

hee hee...some of your posts kill have a great way of saying the things that nobody says, that need to be said.

Jen Bowen said...

It seems like people feel like they can tell pregnant people whatever they want. I don't even know know how many people have told me that I'm getting huge or really big. Honestly, just because I have an excuse to be big (starting week 38) doesn't mean I want to hear about it. Thanks for giving me a chance to do a little venting on your blog :). Good luck trying to get some rest and holding out until the 9th!