Friday, April 25, 2008

New crisis in the Webb household

I'm back. Again. Due to the traveling, my blogposts have been sporadic. But now that we're back home again, I'll be better. At least for another 2 weeks, until we move. WHAT? 2 WEEKS?? That's it? I know, I'm freaking out in my mind a little. I am excited to move on, but in another way I feel like we just got here!
Speaking of freaking out, that's what Eva's personality has been doing. After getting home, I realized that we had a serious problem with her. She has always been a good baby. But it seems that after her first birthday, this alter ego took over her brain and she has turned into a spoiled little brat. A cute one, of course, but a brat nonetheless. Possibly due to all the attention from well-meaning family members? I think so. After talking about it with Andrew the last couple of days, we decided something had to be done. We were miserable with her tantrum crying self, and she clearly hasn't been very happy either. We went to the library yesterday and checked out "The Happiest Toddler on the Block" (which turned out to be one of the stupidest books ever--don't read it) and "Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child: How Parents can be both firm and loving and help their baby develop into a secure and well-adjusted child." Quite the title, I know--but so far the book has been fairly enlightening for me and I have determined some changes that are being made, starting this morning.
Part of me says, "Take it easy on her--there will be a new baby here soon and she'll get alot less attention. Let her live it up now." But then logic kicks in, and I think of how miserable all of us will be when that transition actually happens. So.
Last night while laying in bed I said to Andrew (this may be blasphemous, but it's true, I actually said this), "People say that every question you have in life can be answered by the scriptures, but I don't know if that's true. Because there are certainly no answers on how to remedy one-year old temper tantrums." That may show a lack of faith or scriptural knowledge on my part, but there is it. So if any of you have in fact found an answer to this particular problem in the scriptures, PLEASE let me know. I am very open to suggestions, and we need help.


Lisa said...

Steph- here is my advice, for what it's worth. First, go easy on yourself. Ava is now a toddler, so do not expect the angel-ness to last forever anyway. Second, I think you are right that a big part of it is not just getting spoiled by family, but all the traveling/transitions lately. Babies thrive on routine. Third, I know the scriptures do not have direct advice about toddlers and tantrums (believe me, I've looked) but they do have plenty about love and patience. There is a really good story in the Jan. 2007 Ensign 'Taking Courage in the Hymns'-the last part is about a mom having a hard time w/ kids, and it relates to music too! Sorry this comment is sooo long! Love ya Steph!

Lisa said...

Sorry, I misspelled Eva! I'm a crummy speller!

Anonymous said...

Once Nathan hit the year mark he started acting up too. He throws tantrums, so we put him in time out. Since he's so young time out only lasts a minute and all we do is put him in his pack-n-play. He cries, but he seems to be better behaved once he comes out. It has reached the point now where we threaten him with time out and he gets nervous (he still doesn't stop the naughty thing he's doing.... but that will come eventually. It's good to know that he at least realizes that time out is a bad thing).

And as far as finding your answers in scriptures: I've don't think that statement means you will find always find actual answers written in the scriptures. I think it means that as you read the scriptures your mind and heart are more spiritually inclined, and thus better able to receive revelation. If this is something you're praying about and really struggling to remedy, scripture study can create a time when the Spirit can work on you to help you solve your problem.

Also, God is the perfect parent. Just by reading the way he treats the Israelites or the Nephites or any one of his earthly children you can get some wonderful examples of how to be a parent. He sends multiple warnings, he clearly explains their wrong behavior to them, he teaches them the right way to be, and then he afterwards shows forth an increase of love.

Hope that helps!

Watts Family said...

I do the time out thing just like Rachel does. If he acts up it is into his crib. I think that it really does help too. And I know that you are a firm believer in routine and maybe Eva just got thrown off a bit while you guys were gone. You guys are wonderful parents. Toddler years are just hard!
Maybe I should go and check out that book that you guys got. Tell me if it ends up good. Love ya.

AnnEE said...

I wish I had something enlightening myself to say, but I fear I am in need of enlightenment. I'm horribly impatient, grumpy, and just all around not a great person these days. (Being a single parent during the week REALLY takes its toll)

I DO want to see your haircut though!

HayHay said...

Oh good luck Steph. I don't even want to think about disciplining Jake when he becomes a toddler. He is already so stubborn as it is. When I have another baby it really will rock his world. He knows he is the center of everyone's attention. Well good luck and tell me how it goes. I will need some tips when Jake is that age.

hillarie said...

I can't give parenting advice to a blog. But I sure would like to give you guys a full evaluation in person WHEN YOU GET HERE! Seems like you're taking an awfully long time to me.
Are you getting a VOQ or TLF?
P.S. Eva is going to seem like a teenager when you get the new baby home so try to soak in a little baby-ness while you still can. Seriously, I was like "Olivia! You can change your own stinkin' diaper! You're practically an adult!"