I am starting to prepare mentally for giving birth to and having another newborn. As you know, I have always been verbal about how much I hate the baby phase. Yesterday I came upon a blog called SortaCrunchy - she did a series of posts on Babywise that made me step back and think...a LOT. I thought about WHY I don't like having a newborn. Obviously, it's not the newborn's fault. But for some reason, I went into parenthood with the mentality that the baby was the adversary and it was a battle from the beginning. I couldn't give an inch or I would lose the war. (Where did this come from? I don't know. My mother CERTAINLY doesn't feel that way. She adores babies.) Schedule them, put them to sleep in their own bed, cry it out, don't give in when they wake up at night, show them who is boss and how things work from day one. Those were my goals. Um, hello? No wonder! What an incredibly stressful way to enter parenting. Now that I have done it twice, I'm ready to try something new. And I'm really hoping that the third time will be the charm.
I'm going to try breastfeeding again. But this time I'm not going to pump - I've done that enough for a lifetime. I have put many heartfelt prayers up, asking for my body to know what to do and how to produce enough milk to feed this child without supplementing formula. Not because I'm against formula (obviously), but because I want to try something new.
I'm going to try wearing this baby in a sling. I know it's a controversial topic right now what with the media craze on 2 types of slings being recalled. But I feel I have educated myself enough that I feel good doing it. We'll see how it goes.
I'm not going to push sleeping through the night at 8 weeks with this baby. I will still retain a somewhat scheduled approach if I can, simply because that is my nature and personality. But I won't hold any iron-fisted standard over where we SHOULD be with sleeping. I'm going to try to relax in that area and be a better nighttime parent. (Read this post, please. It really got to me. That is one of my main struggles as a mother.)
I'm going to look at this baby as a gift from the Lord and try to savor the precious newborn moments by rocking and cuddling rather than stressing out about schedules and feeding times.
So there is my admission that I did it all wrong the first two times (thank heavens they still turned out fine, so far) and I'm ready to go at it again. With fresh perspective.