Friday, May 21, 2010

Maybe the third time WILL be the charm.

I am starting to prepare mentally for giving birth to and having another newborn. As you know, I have always been verbal about how much I hate the baby phase. Yesterday I came upon a blog called SortaCrunchy - she did a series of posts on Babywise that made me step back and think...a LOT. I thought about WHY I don't like having a newborn. Obviously, it's not the newborn's fault. But for some reason, I went into parenthood with the mentality that the baby was the adversary and it was a battle from the beginning. I couldn't give an inch or I would lose the war. (Where did this come from? I don't know. My mother CERTAINLY doesn't feel that way. She adores babies.) Schedule them, put them to sleep in their own bed, cry it out, don't give in when they wake up at night, show them who is boss and how things work from day one. Those were my goals. Um, hello? No wonder! What an incredibly stressful way to enter parenting. Now that I have done it twice, I'm ready to try something new. And I'm really hoping that the third time will be the charm.
I'm going to try breastfeeding again. But this time I'm not going to pump - I've done that enough for a lifetime. I have put many heartfelt prayers up, asking for my body to know what to do and how to produce enough milk to feed this child without supplementing formula. Not because I'm against formula (obviously), but because I want to try something new.
I'm going to try wearing this baby in a sling. I know it's a controversial topic right now what with the media craze on 2 types of slings being recalled. But I feel I have educated myself enough that I feel good doing it. We'll see how it goes.
I'm not going to push sleeping through the night at 8 weeks with this baby. I will still retain a somewhat scheduled approach if I can, simply because that is my nature and personality. But I won't hold any iron-fisted standard over where we SHOULD be with sleeping. I'm going to try to relax in that area and be a better nighttime parent. (Read this post, please. It really got to me. That is one of my main struggles as a mother.)
I'm going to look at this baby as a gift from the Lord and try to savor the precious newborn moments by rocking and cuddling rather than stressing out about schedules and feeding times.
So there is my admission that I did it all wrong the first two times (thank heavens they still turned out fine, so far) and I'm ready to go at it again. With fresh perspective.


Lacking Productivity said...

I like that you are so verbal about your parenting. I'm confident that since I am an avid follower of yours that I will only use the best and right parenting practices from day 1 as a mom. ;]

Brittani said...

So Mique was the first time I did babywise, but due to three other kids and a crazy scedule I did a moderated Brittani version and was very happy with results. So maybe you need to do a moderated Steph version. I was dreading the night-time feedings with Isaac, and though he is only 10 days old it has not been bad at all. I love to be with him, anytime...and maybe it is because he is my last (according to Grant and I) I have just enjoyed holding him, loving on him, and let the worries of a clean house and other non important stuff fall to the wayside, because before long I will not be able to love on him like this, so take advantage and do not stress if the nursing does not work, some times it just doesn't.

Megan@SortaCrunchy said...

Hi, Stephanie! I'm so glad you found that series to be thought-provoking. Being able to view that first year (and really, those really intense first months) as a time of spiritual growth and communion with the One who gently leads those of us with little ones completely changed my parenting paradigm.

My second daughter, the one I parented completely in my post-Babywise mindset, eventually found a very predictable rhythm/routine on her own. That's something I wish I would have known with my oldest!

I will be praying that things in the breastfeeding department work more the way you would like for them to this time around.

Please know if you need support or specific prayer, I am always just an email away!

julie said...

I did a moderated Babywise with Leila as well (pretty much just trying to make sure I fed her when she first woke up... the other things I didn't care about as much) and she was a joy!

I didn't have any problems with breastfeeding/producing enough milk (in fact I had the opposite problem, which has its own challenges!) but my mom and several others had recommended an herbal tea called "Mother's Milk Tea" and it's supposed to help achieve "healthy lactation." I'm pretty sure you can get it at Whole Foods but our local (regular) grocery store has it, too. If you find that producing enough milk is a challenge, you might try it out! If you have any questions about it (keeping in mind that I didn't end up trying it), please feel free to email me at jmjens at

Watts Family said...

Steph I just love reading your blog.
I am doing babywise with Mia but just like Brittani said I'm doing a Krista version. Just do what you think is right for you.
And if you do have a problem with milk this time let me know because I did with Mia and I took some stuff for about 5 weeks or so that seemed to help me out. But if it doesn't work then it doesn't work and you still will have a healthy beautiful baby.
Love you lots