Webb on the Web

A week in New Mexico

2011-05-07T21:38:00.000-07:00

We just got home from a trip to visit our family in New Mexico. It was a great trip and we loved hanging out with people we love. The kids had a blast with cousins especially. On our last night, Eva said as I put her to bed, "Mom, thanks for bringing us to Mammy's house. I love it here." It was so sweet.

We got to see the new dealership, which had incredible lighting. Maybe it could double as a photography studio. If only Eva could manage to put her face in a suitable position...she can't seem to decide what to do.

Dean bonded with Isaac. Two cutest boys on earth.

Leighton thought he was pretty funny making a hat out of his Burger King box on the way there. Long roadtrip notwithstanding, it's always worth it to see our family!

Stuck in the house? I have the solution for you.

2011-04-29T07:56:00.001-07:00

Okay, I just used that title because I really wanted to tie in this unrelated picture of Dean. He LOVES the dollhouse and the other day he apparently wanted to move in there. At least learning to climb the stairs won't be a problem, as he's holding them in his hand.

Here's the real deal: I want to tell you about our TV situation. We don't have cable. We don't have dish. But we still watch all our favorite shows every week.

We have a Roku. I might say this ranks in our top 5 best purchases of our married life. We can stream all sorts of things on it. We use our Netflix there, of course, and we also have a Hulu Plus account. I found that my Picasa Web albums can be linked there, so I can have up a slideshow of all the pictures on my blog going on my TV. We have an Amazon video account where we can order movies for about $5 if we're too lazy to go to Redbox and we want to watch something new. (Also, their customer service is EXCELLENT with Amazon video - once we ordered a movie that had trouble streaming, and they gave us our money back automatically. I didn't even have to call or anything.) We listen to all our Pandora stations on there - it's great to have music coming from our TV in the middle of the house instead of a computer in a back room.

Last night I discovered possibly my new favorite feature. It's called The Gymbox. Now instead of doing the same workout video all the time (as much as I love Jillian), I can get new videos every week. This morning I did my first one...a TREADMILL workout. Hello? That is SO genius. I have a treadmill, but I'm not a runner, so I never use it. Now it's like I have a trainer to tell me how to use my treadmill. She tells me what my incline and speed should be at and leads me through hills and sprints and whatnot - things I wouldn't figure out on my own. Walking and a bit of running. It was an awesome 30 mintue workout. There are a million categories on there - kickboxing, yoga, dancing, strength training...it's awesome. I'm on a free guest pass right now, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to upgrade to the membership ($10 a month, I think) so I can continue to get new videos.

I also found last night that all the major news stations do a little recap of the day's news. ON a free station, of course. This is becoming a must for me as I NEVER watch the news and have to find out about all major news through the grapevine, way delayed. (Like Japan - I embarassingly didn't even hear about that tragedy until a week later. You'd think I lived under a rock.) No excuse for that in this decade, right?

There are all sorts of stations you can download, most of them free. Games, kid drawing stuff...it's awesome. And it's not like the TV is on all the time - it's what you want to watch, when you want to watch it, and it's way cheaper than a cable bill with DVR.

Obviously I'm not being paid to tell you about this, but I just wanted to pass along the info. Get a Roku if you don't already have one (I just saw they are now only $60!! We got ours for $100 a couple years ago. Still worth the price.) and discover all the awesome things you can do. We use ours dozens of times a day - for working out, music, distraction for the kids, and relaxing for me. In the words of Kip, I love technology - especially my Roku.

Living Room Pillows, Part 1

2011-04-27T17:49:00.000-07:00

I have been wanting to make pillows for my living room for a LONG time and just hadn't made time for it. But now, with the curtains and the painted wall, it was starting to look a little odd without pillows on the couch. So a couple weeks ago, I saw this tutorial from V and Co for an awesome shag pillow. It was the kick I needed - I knew that I would make that pillow. It looked totally easy.

I decided to plan all my pillows at once and ordered fabric for 5 pillows from fabric.com - all for a little less than $35. And free shipping! That's the way to go - I didn't even have to take my kids to the fabric store!! My fabric came Monday, and it was beautiful.

Today I sat down in front of Biggest Loser with my cutting mat and board and my gorgeous lime jersey (which ended up having a bit of polyester in it so it has a bit of a shine) and cut everything out. I thought I would just do the cutting (it was a LOT of cutting), but when I had finished I felt like I was in a groove. I marched straight upstairs, got my machine out, and finished the whole dang pillow in one sitting! It was quick and easy. When Andrew saw how close I was to being done, he said, "Who are you and what have you done with my wife?" See, I'm not usually a project finisher.

It feels so good to have this done!! So I'm 20% done with my pillow project, and I'm on a roll. The next one will be coming soon.

P.S. Please ignore my dirty couch with fingerprints on it. Just feast your eyes on the shag beauty in the foreground.

P.P.S. If you make this pillow (make this pillow!!), know that 1 yd. is generous - I have a LOT of jersey left. But since jersey is so cheap and you can't order less than 1 yd. from fabric.com, it's okay. Maybe I'll make another one as a gift or something.

The internet is awesome.

2011-04-26T15:49:00.001-07:00

Sorry to do another post about a link, but this is the coolest video I've ever seen. It made me cry. I feel like this is what the internet is intended for, awesome things like this. It's a little long - over 14 minutes - but it's worth it. (You could probably also find it on YouTube, but this is the link someone emailed me.)

And here's a picture of my technologically-inclined son, just in case the video is not great enough for a post on its own.

Our Easter highlights

2011-04-25T16:24:00.000-07:00

Well, my Easter grass was, as my mother prophesied, a bad idea. I had to hire some handsome men to come rake/sweep the living room after Leighton had finished his destruction. I paid them in delicious food.

Family pictures with three children...that's about as fun as grocery shopping with three kids. We had a sum total of zero succesful shots, but oh well. I never did get a decent picture of the boys' ties, but let me tell you, they were the cutest things they've ever worn.

Speaking of unsuccesful things, my last-minute hunt for an Easter dress for myself was a flop. After numerous stores and failed outfits that made me look like a mother whale, I left those gross clothes behind, along with a little of my self-esteem. I came home to my own dismal closet and selected...wait for it...a maternity dress. One that I wore all of ONE time during my maternity phase. It wasn't very cute, and it gave me a complex that I looked pregnant, but it matched Eva's dress when I added a little pink flower clip.

Eva's dress, however, was a smashing success. She looked adorable. We were running late before church and I didn't get to fancy up her hair like she wanted, but she still looked dazzling.

We had a grand Easter feast with friends. It was potluck, so all I had to take care of was the rolls (Lion House, of course) and carrot cake for dessert. Marelize brought lamb (that will surely be a new Easter tradition - delicious!!) and roasted veggies, Kara brought a potato dish (I am reluctant to call them funeral potatoes on the day we celebrated resurrection! but that's what they were), and Stacey brought ham and salad. YUM. Every last bite was delicious. A party in my mouth. Despite the fact that my hair went a little insane as the day went on (see above picture, look for tail on the left side of my head), we captured a picture of the girls. I love these girls.

It was a wonderful Easter.

This is a post.

2011-04-22T22:04:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't even come CLOSE to my daily blogging goal this month. But admit it - I'm doing way better than last month.

So here's a picture of my children. Let's call that a post, shall we?

I can do hard things.

2011-04-18T20:45:00.000-07:00

Andrew is deploying again in one month.

One month from yesterday, actually. We are now on the official countdown until he leaves, and I as I prepare for single momhood again, I am filled with memories of last time. As hard as it was, I can honestly say I was better after it was over. I was strong and felt victorious when he came home, like I had fought a battle and won. Which, in a way, I had.

So now, I'm preparing another go at it. This time, with renewed insight (especially from General Conference!) and a desire to do even better than last time.

I think Andrew is dreading it even more than I am. I don't blame him. This time won't be nearly as "fun" for him - he won't be as busy or doing as many cool things. I mean, saving the world is pretty cool, but you know, it gets old day in and day out. I imagine. I find him clinging logner to the kids or kissing Dean extra times, and I know what he's thinking. He doesn't want to miss it. He doesn't want to be gone when Dean learns to crawl and probably walk. He will miss so many thousands of little things - another one of Leighton's birthdays, for instance. (We're going on 50% father's birthday attendance here for poor Bubba!) Last time I thought I had the worse end of the deal, but this time I feel like he does. And I am trying to be the strong one. For once in my life.

As I told my mom the other day, the Lord knows I like to plan things, so he allowed me to put my biggest trials and tribulations (so far) on the calendar. 4 months long, 120 days of hardship. I like it that way. I don't like deployment, but I am trying to remind myself that it is a blessing to sacrifice for this country, and that we will never ever ever be left alone, though we will be apart.

I found this free print today from one of my new favorite blogs, and it was absolutely perfect for me. I will be printing this off and hanging it where I can see it every day. Because it's true - I CAN do hard things, and I can do them well.

The Case of the Tipped-Over Trash Can

2011-04-16T20:35:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure when my baby grew up.

The other day (Thursday) I thought that maybe Dean might like a walker to get around in. I called Stacey and she had one we could borrow.

I put him in it Thursday evening, and he seemed to enjoy it. Didn't really go anywhere, but liked it anyway.

Yesterday, I put him in it and ran to the bathroom. I came back and he had made his way around the kitchen, knocked the trash can over, and dug out two butter wrappers and was licking the butter off. (I made these cookies that morning. Umm, delicious.)

Mind you, he's only 7 months old. I have no CLUE how he did this, because really, he seems a little young to be getting into things.

He was covered in butter, and I had to laugh and grab my camera. He is obviously drawn to fattening foods...he must be my son.

He is the world's easiest baby, and this was definitely his first trouble-making experience. And it was mild. Unfortunately, knowing he is apprentice to masters of mischevious behavior, it will not be his last.

A little mood boost

2011-04-14T17:32:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I am so disappointed in humanity. Sometimes I don't believe there is much good left in the world, and I feel discouraged. I hear stories of people doing terrible things to each other, and it's sad.

And then, I see something like this article, and I think how cool people are. How probably, most people are good deep down. I don't know why, but just knowing that somewhere in the world there actually was a house floating on balloons made me happy.

Maybe it will cheer you up, too.

Easter preparations in earnest

2011-04-11T12:24:00.000-07:00

The other day, I thought it would be a good idea to start getting ready for Easter. I am famous for having all sorts of awesome, cute ideas and good intentions...and then never getting around to them. First up: Easter baskets. Last year we were out of town and did absolutely NOTHING for Easter. It was disappointing and I felt I had failed as a holiday-loving mother. So I went to Target on Friday and got some darling buckets for baskets. I even got...Easter grass. (Mom, I know you are rolling your eyes.) My mother hates Easter grass and always talked about how awful it was to clean up for weeks afterward, so I didn't think I would ever do it. But I did need SOME sort of padding in the bucket so the eggs didn't break...and it was only $.49 a bag...I know, I'll pay for it later, but oh well. Next was outfits for the kids. I got the idea to make ties for the boys and a skirt or dress for Eva. I found this tutorial for little boy ties that looked do-able and cute. I have fabric to make this skirt for Eva, which I am in love with. (I might still do that...unless I get lazy.) But after a couple hours of stressing out over the ties, I decided, maybe it's not worth it. I'm sure I can find a cute tie somewhere. Looked at Target - nothing. Old Navy - nothing. Etsy - SCORE. Big time. I found the cutest tie on the entire internet, and it was the FIRST box that came up in my search for "little boy tie." Oh man, I am seriously in love. The shop was called "The Little Gentleman's Closet," and everything there was adorable. I ordered it immediately, which is very uncharacteristic for me when it comes to online shopping. I put in the comments that I needed two, and I got an email literally less than 2 minutes later from the owner, Michelle, who said she had just listed it again so I could purchase it, and she gave me a coupon code so I'd only have to pay shipping once. I was totally impressed with her immediate response! That was on Friday. Then, this morning, I get an email from her letting me know she had just shipped the ties this morning!! Talk about customer service! I was worried about getting them in time for Easter, since they are handmade and all, but I will have them way ahead of time. I am so completely happy with my experience with this shop, I just wanted to tell you all about it. If you have little boys, please go look at her shop. Great prices, ADORABLE ties, and outstanding customer service. I will post a picture when I get the ties...I can't wait!!

Be witty, be pretty, be cheerful.

2011-04-08T14:51:00.000-07:00

My Grandma had a quote hanging in her house my whole life until she passed away. It said, "Be witty if you can, be pretty if you are, but be cheerful if it kills you." My mom also had it up in our house while I was growing up. My sister Lindsay called yesterday wondering if I would make a print with that quote on it. (I did a series of prints for my sister Kim for Christmas and they turned out pertty cute!) Seeing as how those words are near and dear to me heart and I frequently need a reminder to be cheerful, I agreed.

So today, I sat down to make it. I used Crystal Wilkerson's Sweet Summertime elements for the colors and flowers - she is my all-time favorite digital designer. (My blog banner elements are from her as well.) Anyway.

I made several different versions of it, and I can't decide which one I like the best. So I'm putting it up here for some input. Also, because I love all of you who continue to read my blog, I'm giving you a few free downloads. Leave a comment which one you like the best, or even if you like none of them, and take one or all of them! They are 8 x 10, fyi. (Warning: they look weird because they are on a white background and it's not showing the outer border! Sorry, don't know how to fix that!)

Sucked in.

2011-04-07T17:19:00.001-07:00

I'm not a huge time-waster. I limit my TV shows and only watch them the next day on our Hulu Plus. I'm not big into Facebook, and I stopped twittering after about 2 weeks. Sometimes I like to peruse strangers' blogs, but I try to limit that too. With my addictive personality, I have to be careful what I allow myself. But today, I threw caution to the wind when I finally (after hearing about it a while ago) hopped onto a site called Pinterest. Specifically, the DIY label on Pinterest. Umm, here I am, about an hour later, with at least 30 internet windows open and a million ideas of things I want to make. Like this monogram and these mini lasagnas and this little boy tie and some of these flowers to put on a pillow and this cute monogram for the boys' room. The only problem is, I am still on a waiting list to get an account, so I have to find some other way to record all these websites until I can actually pin things. I can't use Delicious because it does weird things to my computer. So anyway, my point is, do NOT go to Pinterest. Unless you have yourself well under control. Or you have a couple hours to spare. Don't say you weren't fairly warned by someone with experience.

Body image

2011-04-06T20:15:00.000-07:00

I don't always love the way my body looks.

That's probably normal, given my gender and stage in life, but it's still not very fun.

I go througyh cycles of self-hate like the next woman. Especially my knees - I really hate my knees. I can live with fat thighs - rare is the woman who has skinny thighs - but knees? Totally different story.

This month I have recommitted myself to working out every morning, and it's been great so far. With my current hormonal situation, I am totally and completely unable to lose weight or change the shape of my body in any way, although I am in fairly good shape. It's frustrating, and I have my days of quitting and wolfing down ice cream to make myself feel better. (It doesn't work.) But I know that, regardless of results, exercise makes me feel good. So I do it anyway.

But I wanted to share these two articles that have given me a lot to think about, and some new thoughts to think as I look in the mirror every morning. See what you think.

The Binge

Weight Doesn't Matter

Ronnie

2011-04-05T20:37:00.001-07:00

If you want to hear an amazing story about an amazing person (who just so happens to be my future brother-in-law), go here to watch. Fast forward to 18 minutes. It's worth your time!

Saint Conference.

2011-04-05T14:17:00.000-07:00

That's what Eva calls General Conference. I must say, it was absolutely FABULOUS. The best yet. It left me with much to think about and motivation to improve myself. But that's for another post, or possibly my journal. What I wanted to report is that...I finished binding my quilts. You may remember this quilt. As I looked at that link I realized I finished binding it EXACTLY one year after that post! Coincidence? Yes, but a cool one. Anyway, after I finished the top, I sent it to my amazing mother, who is now the proud owner of a quilting machine. She quilted with the CUTEST pattern ever, it's perfect. She sent it to me shortly after Dean's birth. The boy is now 7 months, and still it sat.

In the meantime (last summer), I had started another quilt for Dean. The top came together quickly, and my mom quilted it and sent it at the same time as the first. Knowing my laziness in finishing projects, I just decided to go ahead and wash and use them, unbound. (Trashy, I know.)

But during conference, with all those hours of sitting and watching television, I had to put my idle hands to work. And I'm so glad I did.

That night, I covered Dean up with his new, finally completed quilt, and I felt so accomplished. See? Conference worked. I'm improving already.

(Picture of full completed quilts to come...someday.)

The funniest parenting moment of the weekend

2011-04-04T13:01:00.000-07:00

Between General Conference sessions yesterday, we went over to our friends' house for a potluck lunch. Our kids (there were 3 families there) were all out playing in the backyard. We had finished eating and the adults were sitting around the table chatting. Leighton ran by with a plastic yard stake in his hand, and we teased about someone getting hurt.

A few minutes later, we heard the peaceful backyard erupt into a chorus of terrified screams. Literally, all at once. There was no warm-up cry or gradual crescendo - it was all out chaos, all at once. Everyone's first thought (except mine) was that someone had gotten stabbed with the stake. I ran out there first and saw the funniest sight of my life.

The sprinklers had come on, and the kids were getting rained down on. They were all hysterically crying (except for the oldest girl, who's 8) and running around frantically. Leighton was the first to near the door, so I grabbed him. By then, the other parents had gotten out there and we were all scooping up wet kids. Eva was the funniest - she was paralyzed with fear and was running back and forth, never near the door, and screaming at the top of her lungs.

Us parents could hardly move, we were laughing so hard. We wrapped all the kids in towels and sat in the kitchen laughing and calming down from the adrenaline rush from the initial screams. Thankfully, nobody was hurt.

The only problem is that, come summer, my kids may still be suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrom and REALLY won't play at the splash pad!

iHate

2011-04-02T12:28:00.001-07:00

{This picture is from Thanksgiving last year, in the thick of the Doodle app phase.} A couple years ago, my parents gave me an iTouch for Christmas. Andrew's dad also passed on his old one to Andrew, so we became the proud owners of two iTouches. Which, ironically, we hardly ever touched. They sat on our iHome charger in the hallway, rarely being used.

Then Leighton came along. He loves little games like the doodle/drawing app on there, and he got attached to it. When my family came for Christmas a few months ago, Leighton fell hard and fast for my dad...because of his iPad. (Also, obviously, because of his good looks and charming personality. Hi, Dad.) He woke first thing in the morning asking, "Where's Grandpa's iPad?" and took it to bed with him at night.

We let him play with my iTouch often, as it would keep him quiet and trouble-free for long, rare, periods of time. But we left him alone with it too often, apparently, because he and Eva learned to access random videos on the internet through it. (I still don't know how to find what they were watching one day - some strange animate thing.) We disabled the internet, and then Leighton somehow erased his favorite drawing app on it.

The iTouch, once again, sat unused, as even Leighton couldn't figure out how to use it anymore. The only thing on there was Trivial Pursuit, and he obviously didn't get very far with that.

So on Thursday night, Andrew got it into his head to fix the iTouch. He got access back to the internet to fix our account and whatever else was wrong with it, and then, he made a fateful mistake.

He downloaded Angry Birds.

Now, I not only have an obsessed son, but an obsessed husband. They fight over it and take turns like children. (Although one of them has an excuse, because he is a child.) It is always in one of their hands...unless the battery is dead, and then it's temporarily on the charger again. Their personalities can't handle something like this, and the two oldest males in our household are on hiatus from their normal selves.

Today, General Conference, has given them ample opportunity to sit on the couch playing Angry Birds. Andrew justifies it, saying it's as brainless as me binding my quilt. I'll never play it to find out if he's right or not. I hope you can see why we will never ever EVER get a Wii or anything like it. An iTouch is bad enough.

Sometimes Angry Birds makes for one Angry Mama.

This is not an April Fool's joke.

2011-04-01T13:47:00.000-07:00

I really am posting, for real. Also, although this is a bad day to tell people about a goal because they'll think you're kidding, I have a resolution to post every day this month. I might take Sundays off, I'm not sure yet. They say it's easier to do something every day than once a week, so I'm going to try. And I'm not kidding.

So, remember when I had a baby? I remember. Then one day, just a few short days ago, Andrew accidentally hacked his hair off and turned him into Rulon Gardner. Not a joke either. (Also, he has roseola in this picture.)

His head feels prickly like a teenager, and I'm sad. My last baby, and now his babyhood is gone. (Side note to Monique: Andrew and I are both a little freaked out by how he looks like Lincoln these days! Do you agree?)

Another thing that is not a joke: It is 90 degrees today. Vegas is playing a trick and making it feel like July. But it's not funny to me. Oh no, I am NOT a summer lover. I max out on patience around 82 degrees. I could never have been a successful pioneer. We went to the park so Eva and Leighton could watch other kids cool off in the splash pad. They've never been big social participants...even in the heat. Maybe they cooled off by proxy?

So that's it for my Blog Month Day 1. Peace out. I'll be back tomorrow.

This blog update is for my sister Laura...

2011-02-13T17:50:00.000-08:00

We spend most of our days with the door open, basking in the sun and the perfect weather.Andrew got me an alarm system for Valentine's Day (he is a hopeless romantic!), so I've had a lot more peace of mind lately.

Dean is sitting up now. He does big belly-laughs - Eva says, "He does a laugh just like we do!" Which is a perfect description.

Leighton is in the process of being potty-trained. He wasn't really ready (as in asking to go potty), and I know everyone says to wait for that, but I was ready and that's good enough. He's doing pretty well and I'm surprised how quickly he picked up on it. It's a big life change, when you think about it, but he's adapting well and will now tell me when he needs to go.

Eva is learning to read and she LOVES it. I started including a 5-minute reading lesson with preschool (from the Ordinary Parent's Guide to Teaching Reading) after she started asking about what words were and how to spell things. I figured she was ready, and she was. She is picking it up so quickly and I LOVE seeing her learn things and then apply them later that day when drawing a picture or trying to sound something out. We have started out slowly - we finished short vowel sounds and are onto consonants sounds - and it's awesome. I highly recommend the book.

I had a girls' craft night last week and I finally made my long-time dream a reality - I made a bib necklace. Otherwise known as a "statement piece," they are obnoxious and big and I love them. So I made one, and I have to say this may be my favorite thing I've ever made. After craft night, I could hardly sleep thinking about my creation. I got the chance to wear it 2 nights later when we went out on the strip for dinner and a show. I felt like a million dollars! It was cheap, easy, and unique - my kind of craft.

Top 5 moments of being 26, plus several more

2011-01-26T21:38:00.000-08:00

{Turning 26}

{Turning 27}

We sat at Brio, the best restaurant in Vegas (in our as-yet limited experience) to celebrate my 27th birthday with Kara and Clay, Chris and Stacey. As I devoured the best dish in the world, Artichoke-Crusted Beef Medallions, Clay turned to me and asked me my TOP 5 best things during my year of being 26.

I am ashamed to say how slow I was to think of even ONE. I hemmed and hawed and searched my mind. Dean's birth was a given, but that was also a top 5 bad in many ways. I looked to Andrew for help, and he pointed out a few. I realized yet again how 2010 wasn't an awesome year for me. Clay's question got me thinking and I couldn't stop wishing I had answered differently. So here is my new and improved (and way expanded) answer, for Clay and everyone else, but mostly for me.

Best Moments of Age 26

1. The Skagit Valley tulip festival. It should be one of the 7 wonders of the world - it was breathtaking.

2. Watching the kids play in the snow at Grandpa's house over Thanksgiving.

3. Going to the airshow at Nellis and going inside Andrew's good old C-17. Also the day I successfully wore a hat publicly for one of the first times in my life.

4. Watching my Dad meet Dean for the first time, and having him stand in the circle to bless Dean.

5. Having my family come visit at Christmas - best Christmas gift ever.

6. Joining my boxing gym! The rush of going for the first time after so long literally brought me to tears. I love me some punching.

7. Going to St. George spontaneously for a fun trip with the Culvers and Noyeses.

8. Getting a yard put in and watching the kids play "lion hunt" in the bushes.

9. Going to Mt. Charleston in August and feeling the cool breeze and smelling the trees. It was the first time I felt content (weather-wise) since moving here.

10. Riding 4-wheelers in Mancos while camping with the Webbs.

11. Eating yummy seafood and playing on the rainy beach with the Schmeils, Minettos, and Smurthwaites right before moving from WA. Eva found a snail in the sand and brought it home. (Unfortunately, it was lost in the car and never found again.)

12. Our trip to the Oregon coast over Eva's 3rd birthday.

13. Making my first quilt.

14. Going on a cruise with Linds and Kenny. A perfect week! (Linds, we're about due for another cruise, don't you think?)

15. Watching Eva and Leighton learn so much during preschool.

16. Getting to touch Dean's soft little cheek for the first time, and then later getting to hold him. Actually, the first 2 weeks of his life were magical. (Thanks in part to pain pills and my sisters and Mom!)

And just for the record, because a few of these cropped up in remembering events, here are a few of my worst memories of last year.

Worst Moments of Age 26:

1. The Sunday where we were living in a hotel and I prayed so hard someone would invite us over for dinner and nobody did. I bawled on the way home from church and then we ate dinner at Chili's.

2. Every time I had to go outside in June, July, and August.

3. Thinking I was going to be murdered in my own home Andrew sent me emails from my own account that Google was going to kill me. (Long story that I wish I could forget but I probably never will. I truly believe that is when my heart problem was born.)

4. Having to drive 12 hours home to NV from CO 24 hours after getting there and stopping every 2 hours to give Leighton a breathing treatment.

5. Saying good-bye to our home in WA and living homeless for 2 months. Those were REALLY bad months.

So I'm not as pessimistic as I first felt when trying to answer Clay's question. It just took me a little longer than it should have. :) Looking back, I did remember a lot of lame things that happened, but I thought of WAY more than 5 things that made me cry from happiness. Actually, probably everything on my good list either made me cry or almost cry from my heart being so full and grateful and happy. I know being 27 will be even better than 26 in so many ways, and I can't wait to make my list next year!

P.S. Thanks to all of you who sent kind birthday messages! It meant so much to me to have you all think of me.

Learning to like Vegas

2011-01-15T06:40:00.000-08:00

I sat outside on the bench playing with Dean on my lap and watching Eva and Leighton running around. They picked flowers from a nearby flower pot for me, forgetting that some flowers are not for picking. I told them not to pick anymore, but I was secretly pleased with their stolen gift. The music speaker was just behind us, playing upbeat songs, and I danced Dean and kissed him to the beat. He laughed and grinned his big smile that shows such pure joy it makes my heart stop every time. (I do have a heart condition, you know, so it's dangerous to see that smile too many times in a day.)

As we sat out, basking in the sunshine and the blissfully perfect weather, it hit me: I like it here. I like Las Vegas. I like having springtime weather in January. I like this very moment, at this very mall, waiting for my mother-in-law outside a darling children's boutique. (Where, I can't resist sharing, she got this and these for Eva's birthday! Cutest suit I've ever laid eyes on in my life. She'll be a little Audrey Hepburn at the pool.)

It was a landmark realization. Because although I knew I didn't mind it here and it wasn't as bad as it used to be, at some point I turned a corner and started being happy here. I'm not exactly sure when it happened. But this is big for me.

My tune may very well change come summertime. I told my mother-in-law that I think I have Seasonal Affective Disorder, except in the summer. I detest the heat. (Maybe a cute swimsuit of my own would help?) But for now, I'm so glad to know I have finally really settled in to my life here.

Life is so very good. Even in Sin City.

Dinner Party

2011-01-12T07:13:00.000-08:00

{Clay is missing from this picture because he had to leave early for a basketball game. Andrew was just on his way out to a meeting when we took the picture - hence the white shirt and tie.}

I love serving big meals to people. It's one of my greatest passions. Special occasions (holidays, birthdays, having people over for dinner) and their accompanying "big deal meals" just make me happy. In the spirit of my Happiness Project, I thought I would record and share my typical process for planning a dinner party.

It starts several days before the big event, when I start planning the menu. Much to Andrew's annoyance, this takes even longer than the actual preparation of the food. Every dish has to be just right and have a special purpose. This week, for example, I was planning a party to welcome Chris Culver home from deployment. Well do I remember what a HUGE deal Andrew's homecoming was to me, so I wanted to let Stacey know how happy and excited we were for their family. Plus, good food always makes a get-together more enjoyable.

Knowing the party would be on Tuesday, I started brainstorming about main courses on Friday. In a moment of inspiration, I decided on my great-grandmother's recipe for BBQ ribs. Always a hit, and significant emotional attachment for me as well - perfect for the occasion. Naturally, you need potatoes to go with ribs. I considered normal baked potatoes, but then remembered a few weeks ago, when we had these same friends (sans Chris, of course) over for a post-Christmas dinner. I had served my Christmas-traditional twice-baked bleu-cheese potatoes. Clay had fallen in love with them and declared, "These are my new favorite food." So for Clay's sake (and mine, because I adore those potatoes more than any other form of potatoes - which is saying a lot), I decided on those again. Plus, I had bleu cheese left that needed to be used! See, I'm also very resourceful.

Rolls are also a necessity with almost any meal. Knowing myself and my tendencies to let WAY too much of my emotional well-being ride on the way my rolls turn out, I opted for frozen, yet delicious, Rhodes rolls. With Kara helping to put on the event, and knowing her natural ability to create amazing salads, I put her in charge of salad, drink, and ice cream.

That left me with a dessert - the hardest part every time. It has to be just the right level of fanciness, uniqueness, and still appropriate for the celebration. (By the way, Thanksgiving is always a White Chocolate Pumpkin Cheesecake with Pecan-Gingersnap Crust - a perfect holiday food. Just to throw out an amazing recipe that you have to make sometime.) With our occasion - Chris's return - I thought a cake would be good. Cakes are celebratory. I briefly considered a store-bought Costco cake, and then this amazing, incredible Sour Cream-Chocolate Cake with Peanut Butter Frosting and Chocolate-Peanut Butter Glaze (I made that in WA with our friends the Willises), but opted for something a little less time-intensive. I found this and this, but ultimately decided on a Hot Fudge Peanut Butter Pudding cake made...in the CROCK POT. Perfect.

The menu was set. The countdown was on. The morning of the party (Tuesday), I woke up thinking about the food, as I always do on mornings like that. My mind was racing with things to do to get everything just right.

First step was to brown the ribs, make the sauce, and put it all in the crockpot (which always takes longer than I think!). Then I made my schedule for the day. This is one of my favorite parts of big meals (pathetic, I know). I work backwards from the time we will eat and figure out how much time each step will take - cooking and preparation - and write it on my chalkboard. That way I know I have to get the rolls out of the freezer to thaw at 12:30, turn the crock pot down to low at 2pm, and get the cake on high no later than 2:30pm. Since I am a list-lover, this method works well for me. And it makes it almost fool-proof when planning multiple dishes. (Note: I did say almost.)

Chris's dinner was one of the few "big deal meals" where nothing went terribly wrong. Nothing was burnt, I didn't run out of any ingredients in the middle of cooking, I didn't forget any crucial dishes. (Like the time I forgot to make a starch to go with a roast for a dinner party in WA - EMBARASSING.) I did forget to make the corn, but then I decided we didn't need it after all - it had been a last-minute and unnecessary addition to the menu.

Our friends arrived at 4:30, and I finished what little was left to do - crumble the bacon for the potatoes and make sure everything was warm.

Then comes the all-time best part of the whole ordeal - the part that makes being on my feet for 8 hours straight worth every minute - the sounds of "mmm!" and seeing people go back for seconds. It's not that I want people to compliment me, but that I want my food to make them happy. Even if it's just for a minute, it just thrills me to give someone the gift of a good meal. I'm not sure why I'm like this, but even before I loved to cook (or before I knew how to cook pasta without directions) I have always found joy in making food for people.

So I'll report that Tuesday night was an utter success. We had a grand time all being together again, and the food wasn't too shabby. Even if I do say so myself.

Here's the recipe for my great-grandma's ribs. Perfect for a crowd and delicious every time!

Grandma's BBQ Ribs

Boneless pork ribs (however many you need to feed your group - the sauce makes plenty for a pack of ribs from Costco)

3 c. water

4 c. ketchup

1/2 c. lemon juice

3/4 c. Worcestershire sauce

1/2 c. vinegar

1/2 c. butter

2 c. celery, diced

3/4 tsp. cayenne

1/2 c. brown sugar

1 med. onion, chopped

1 Tbsp. ground mustard

1/2 c. brown sugar

Brown ribs on all sides and set aside in crock pot or large pot. Combine all remaining ingredients in a large pot. Bring to a boil, then remove from heat. Pour over ribs. (If they don't all fit in one pot, split them up and put another pot on the stove or in the oven.) Cover with lid; cook on high for 4 hours and low for at least 4 more hours. In the oven, cook at 325 for at least 4 hours. On the stove, put over low heat for at least 4 hours. (The longer you cook them they softer they get!)

Serve with twice-baked bleu cheese potatoes! AMAZING!!

Calm after the storm. Or rather, after the volcano eruption.

2011-01-08T20:22:00.000-08:00

{ This picture is totally irrelevant to this post. I just wanted to show you the monstrosity I had for lunch today. We went on a date to Hash House a-Go-Go, and I've never seen food stacked so high. No, I didn't finish it. But pretty dang close...}

Last night: My stress level was high. After a disappointing call from Andrew at work cancelling a plan I had made and throwing a kink in our dinner party next week, I was annoyed. The kids were ornery and snippy, Dean was whiny and fussy. At dinner, Leighton pretended his couscous were "sprinkles" and threw them all over the floor and table like confetti. Dean screamed and wouldn't be comforted by anything. In the tub, Eva and Leighton got in a huge, screaming fight that resulted on claw marks on both their bodies. (When I forget to cut their nails, it's like handing them a weapon and tell them to have at each other.) That was the last straw. I snapped inside. I grabbed the recorder from the play room floor and started yelling - in an ugly voice I hardly recognized as my own - and slammed the recorder on the counter. I grabbed them out of the tub, wrapped them in their towels, and threw them on their own beds, slamming the doors behind me. Then I put Dean in his crib and, to the terrible chorus of all three children screaming at the top of their lungs, I marched downstairs to the garage. I sat there panting and gulping in the cool air. I was scared of how angry I felt. I was scared that I didn't even feel sorry for losing it. I said a prayer - because the Spirit was nowhere near me by that point - asking for help in feeling sorry. I asked that my anger be taken away because I didn't know what to do with it. It was a very dark moment. I took a deep breath, then went back upstairs.

I found naked Leighton with a key trying to open Eva's door. He looked at me sweetly, as if nothing had happened, and said, "I got a key." I helped him open the door (although it wasn't locked, he was proud of his key that had fallen off the door post when I slammed it) and saw Eva curled up in a ball in her towel under her covers, her wet hair matted to her pillow and her face streaked with tears. In that moment, my prayer was answered, and all my anger disappeared. I felt the full weight of shame - self-loathing, even - at how I had treated my babies. I bent over her and told her how sorry I was. I asked her to fogive me, and my tears fell on her little cheeks. She gave me a hug, and all was well.

All night, I thought about how I had let my emotions run out of control. What kind of a mother was I? Not the kind I wanted to be. I thought about my goals for happiness and how my total lack of self-control was making it hard to make myself or my kids happy. This morning, after studying "self-control" in the scriptures for a half hour, I resolved to NEVER act like that again.

Tonight: All three kids were in the tub at once. Dean was joyfully kicking his feet and flailing his arms, his fat rolls jiggling. Leighton played Legos and built an airplane, then repeatedly crashed it and laughed hysterically. Eva leaned over Dean and cooed at him and let him pull her hair, laughing at his funny baby sounds. I watched it all and sang, "Boom boom, ain't it great to be crazy" and clapped. It was idyllic and peaceful and happy. The utter and complete opposite of exactly 24 hours earlier. After I got them all dressed, I put them in Eva's room to play dollhouse and went to drain the tub and hang up towels. I heard Dean start to fuss (I had put him on his stomach on the floor, and he hates that) and then quickly stop. I finished what I was doing and peeked around the corner to find Leighton showing Dean some little toys to play with. They all sat happily, playing together. It was perfection.

As I sat in Dean's room and fed him before bed, Leighton kept bringing us pieces of the dollhouse things, saying "Deanie needs these stairs." "Deanie needs flowers." Dean fell asleep despite the intteruptions and went down effortlessly (as he normally does, thankfully). Leighton had a bit of a hard time going to bed as he had fallen asleep earlier for a few minutes, so I went in his room to read him a story. He was so sweet during the story, asking me things about the numbers (it was a counting book) and understanding the story line. Afterwards, he was making jokes - genuinely funny ones - and we lay there laughing for a while. Then I sang him a song and rubbed his arm. He said, "Sing me another one, Mommy." So I did. He said, "Sing me another one, Mommy." I said, "I have to go back downstairs." He said, "Sing popcone popping on a a-ticot tee." So I did, and he sang with me, and did the actions with his adorable little hands. Then he said, "Mommy, go downstairs now." I kissed him and said I love you, and he said I love you a couple times, even after I closed the door. There was a happy glow around me, and I felt so content with my life as I came back downstairs.

What made the difference? Lots of things. Some nights, I let everything get to me until I reach boiling point, and some nights nothing bothers me. I don't know why. Why can't I always be positive? Why can't every night be like tonight?

My Happiness Project: January

2011-01-05T20:57:00.000-08:00

A couple days after Christmas, I went to the bookstore in search of a book recommended to me by my sister Cami. The Happiness Project. I found it, bought it (despite the steep hardback pricetag), and read it in a little over 24 hours, as I am apt to do with books I love.

This book changed my life in many ways. The biggest way was to direct me in my New Year's Resolutions. I had been in search of an idea for a 12-month system that changed monthly rather than a do-or-die-all-or-nothing-all-year-long approach. I found what I was looking for in the H. For someone change-oriented like me, whose motivation ebbs and flows from day to day (or is that everyone?) this was a perfect approach. For someone who thrives on charts and lists and checkmarks and visual proof of progress, this was just the thing.

So go read the book. (I have a copy that I'm happy to lend out.) Get it from the library if you don't have $30 to spare. Or get it on Amazon if you are more patience-oriented and spend $12. And don't be one of those lame-oes who hates on New Year's Resolutions, okay? Resolutions rock.

Here are mine for the month of January.

~Wake up at 6:15am (this is a work in progress - I'm gradually getting there. Today was 6:40am.)

~Study scriptures for 30 minutes

~Write something every day

~Exercise 5 times a week

~Go to gym (boxing) 3 times a week

~Take a picture (I am doing Becky Higgins' Project Life this year and I LOVE it!)

~15 minutes of housework (put the house to bed)

~Veggie up! (This one is thanks to Cooking Light magazine's awesome 12HH program - check it out!)

So far, so good. I haven't been perfect every day, but I'm not expecting that. I feel so good about the efforts I'm making, and that's enough for me.

So long, farewell to 2010

2010-12-29T20:07:00.000-08:00

Well, this year is coming to an end. It has certainly been my worst year yet for blogging, which has brought me a great deal of guilt.

I have decided that 2011 is my year for a few things, one of which will be WRITING. I love it, and I want to pursue it more. I will be dedicating daily time to it next year. But I'm still just not sure about this little blog. I feel like it needs a fresh start, or a purpose of some sort. It's not my journal, as I write that elsewhere. It's not my scrapbook, as I do that other ways. So what is it? Why do I want to keep writing here, and what should I write about?

I don't know. But I'm going to figure it out, hopefully within the next 2 days.

I'll let you know.
2010 was, by and large, the worst year of my life in many ways. I understand now how people can say, "It's just been a hard year." The move was hard, my birth and recovery were hard. But I don't want to remember the hard times, at least not foremost in my mind. Although this year brought more challenges than any other, it was also good in countless ways.

I am happy.

And I'm looking forward to putting a new calendar on my wall and starting all over again.

My own firemen episode

2010-12-15T22:19:00.000-08:00

I am sick. Not like lay-in-bed kind of sick, but talk-like-a-smoker-cow-frog kind of sick. My voice is GONE.

So this afternoon, after avoiding phone calls all day, Andrew calls to tell me he got a message on his phone from a member of our stake presidency that he was trying to get a hold of me. I told Andrew to call him back for me to see what he needed, because I couldn't talk on the phone. Andrew called back a few minutes later and said, "Pres. Waite is calling the house phone in a few minutes. Make sure you answer." So, reluctantly, I answered. And got called to the stake choir! My wish came true. But anway, that's not the point. So I had to make a phone call to the choir director to talk about details. Since the kids were being a little noisy, I stepped into the garage to talk on the phone. I could hear the kids all crying and tried to get off quickly. Eva was sobbing, "Where's Mommy, Bubba?" I felt bad and cracked open the garage door to let her know where I was. I shut it to finish my conversation. She stood by the door crying. And then...she locked it.

So I got off the phone, hearing Dean's crying escalate quickly, and tried to croak to Eva to unlock the door. But her mental powers seemed to disintigrate as I spoke, and she could NOT unlock it. After a few minutes, I started to lose it. I dug through the garage - every shelf, every tool box, the car - trying to find something to pick the lock with. Nothing. I started to cry and panic. Eva started to panic even more. She pulled up a chair to reach the lock (like she had shrunk since locking it) and deadbolted the door, now making it absolutely impossible for me to get in through that door. I knew she wouldn't be able to undo that one no matter what I said. Dean still screamed away, so hard that I thought he would pass out. I tried not to let my ideas of the terrible possiblities that could happen (and surely would! knives! the stove! the oven! broken glass!) creep in, but alas. In complete hysteria, I called 911.

In retrospect, it's probably a good thing I called when it wasn't a true life-and-death emergency. Just so I know when I'm actually about to die that I will have to answer questions and be redirected to people. WHAT? I hope that if I were bleeding to death the situation would have been handled differently. As it was, the operator was very rude. "You got locked out of your house? How? Like on accident?" No, sir. On purpose. I'm doing all this to get attention. OF COURSE IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! WOULD I BE CALLING 911 IF I HAD PLANNED TO GET LOCKED OUT? Anyway. I was redirected to the fireman. I told him my address (or rather, squeaked out my address, hoping he could understand me. Andrew said listening to me talk today is like having someone push the mute button every couple of words.). They came quickly - less than 5 minutes.

When I say "they," I mean a swarm of at least 8 handsome, tall, strong, friendly, uniform-clad firemen. I couldn't help but think of that Modern Family episode with the firemen. If I'd have known they were coming, I might have put on a nice shirt, you know? (But remember, this was an ACCIDENT, which, by definition, means I did not plan for it to happen. Operator.) They swooped in on their big powerful truck and saved us. By going around to the back door and having Eva unlock that and open it up.

Umm, hello? Why did I not think of that? Talk about feeling stupid. In my hysteria, I didn't even think about the fact that the kids know how to unlock that door. Not to mention they would be able to see me talking them through it in case their brains pooped out, like what happened at the garage.

I called Andrew (after leaving him a tearful, impossible-to-understand message earlier) and said, "I got back in the house. I called 911 and the firemen came. It was totally stupid." He called back and first thing he asked when I answered was, "Did you at least put on a nice shirt?" He gets it. (And let it be known: even after seeing all those firemen, I'd still pick Andrew.)

And our next FHE lesson WILL be on how to unlock doors, and will include hiding a key outside, in case of a repeat episode. Although I wouldn't mind those firemen coming back. Kidding, honey, I'm kidding. But maybe I should hide a cute shirt out there with the key. Just in case.

Still alive and punching

2010-11-09T20:32:00.000-08:00

Our computer is broken. I don't have access to all the files I need; hence, the slacking on preschool posting. We have still been having preschool, which is the most important part, but I apologize if there happened to be anyone waiting for my next preschool post. It will eventually come. :)

We are seriously having a "broken" streak right now. First my Bosch blender, then my hand mixer, then our TV, then our computer, and today our new replacement blender broke. (We have BAD luck with blenders. Any reccommendations on a good blender for smoothie-making?) We hit the 60,000 mile mark on the van and took that in for a tune-up. I joined a way expensive, totally awesome, boxing gym. Life is generally expensive right now. Perfect timing, with Christmas coming up, right? Oh well - we've been really lucky since we got married not to have lots of repairs to make, and I guess our good streak is over.

So my boxing gym. HELLO, awesome. I went on Saturday, knowing full-well that I would fall in love and it would be pricey. And that's exactly it. Since we moved here I have been in serious boxing withdrawals. I knew I loved it, but I didn't know how much until I didn't have it. And now, it's back in my life. With a vengeance. I had the most killer workout of my life today. I have been on my lose-the-baby-weight-plus-some journey for a few weeks now, and I feel great. Progress isn't lightning fast, but the important thing is establishing good habits, I think. I've been using sparkpeople.com to track my food and have been totally shocked at how many calories I consume every day. Just writing it down, without making any drastic changes, has already made a difference. Good-bye to my days of eating ice cream straight from the carton and accidentally eating a quarter of it.

So no pictures or anything fabulous to write about, but I just missed my little blog and thought I'd drop in for a quick note. Later.

P.S. Our house is totally ready for Christmas. Tree, lights, and all. I LOVE this time of year. The only thing missing is a beautiful Washington Christmas tree cut down by my dear husband. Costco artificial fit the bill this year.

Happy Halloween!

2010-10-30T22:26:00.000-07:00

From Rosie the Riveter, the Witch, the Fire Fighter, the Pea Pod, and the Soccer Player (behind the camera).

Family Pictures 2010

2010-10-26T21:37:00.000-07:00

Marissa Redder, my old college roommate and Kara's sister-in-law, came to Vegas recently and agreed to take our family pictures. I was so excited - I love her pictures. She did an awesome job and I can't wait to get them all printed out! Thank you, Marissa!!

Letter C

2010-10-12T21:06:00.000-07:00

{The kids loved helping make the crepes. I let them each crack an egg for their first time and it was a success. No shells in the batter!}

Monday: We read The Carrot Seed (BFIAR book) and The Whole Green World. We read both books twice. We tore up little pieces of orange construction paper and glued them to a big letter C. As usual, our art activity ends in Eva drawing all sorts of things. This time she wanted to draw the library storytime lady, Miss Shelly. She drew a picture of her with a head and legs. I said, "How about some legs? Does she need legs?" And Eva answered, "Um, no. She can just walk." Then she drew a squiggly line around and through all her pictures and letters saying, "Excuse me! Excuse me!" Like the line was interrupting the other things on the paper. What a crack-up. We did our Kumon cutting workbook and Leighton cut all the way through the paper for the first time. Then Eva did tangrams to make the letter C. We sang a song about the seed cycle (to the tune of Farmer in the Dell) and did the actions of planting and harvesting seeds.

Tuesday: We read Carrot Soup, and re-read our books from yesterday. Eva did her C pages in her workbook, along with a few extras working on size sorting. We went outside to play catch and draw with chalk. I traced the kids outlines on the patio and drew in the details of their faces and clothes. I found a Mr. Rogers video on how they make crayons, which was cool because Eva had asked me while coloring what crayons were made of. We made cookies after dinner (leftover dough from last week's M&M cookies. They were better after sitting in the fridge for a few days!) and I let the kids have 2 each. I had...a few more than 2.

Wednesday: We read Clumsy Crab and drew pictures based on C is for Crab. We clipped clothespins to a can (great motor skill activity for Leighton - his first time to get the clothespin open by himself) and a page in our Kumon Sticker and Paste. Although the stickers were supposed to go on a girl's apron, Leighton insisted she needed some stickers on her shoes, too. Then I let Leighton draw with markers while Eva did some alphabet workbook pages; he figured out how to draw balloons and literally sat without hardly lifting his head for over an hour straight. His paper is completely covered with little circles he drew and meticulously colored in and lines going straight up the page. A masterpiece - I'm saving that forever as his first intentional drawing. Ever since that day he has had this amazing focus while drawing and stays at it for LONG periods of time. We went in the backyard and did the crab walk later that evening. I intended to have a race, but I didn't take into account my out-of-shapeness or the kids' lack of competitive drive in things like that. So we crab-walked for about 2 minutes until I couldn't do it any more and the kids resorted to tackling me instead. Oh well. :) Also, we had cold cereal for dinner. (Not because of the letter C but because of the word LAZY.)

Thursday: We started the day by making delicious crepes for breakfast. I read them Crepes by Suzette and used the recipe in the back to make the crepes. Yum! My first time making them - definitely not my last. (How sad that someone who lived in France for 3 years has never made crepes, right?) After breakfast we read The Mixed-Up Chameleon. We drew chameleons (Andrew and I even got in on the art action and made it family drawing time - it was so fun!) and did some math workbook. Eva wanted to show Daddy her mad workbook skills, so we pulled out a bunch and let her do what she wanted for a while.

Friday: I had no books this day as my theme was caterpillars and my library book didn't come in time. Oh, and our copy of The Very Hungry Caterpillar is torn in half after a few years of love and hundreds of readings. (Whoever thought board books were sturdy should come take a look at our bookshelves - R.I.P. Goodnight Moon.) So after circle time we went straight into crafts - making caterpillars out of pompoms and popsicle sticks. (I can't remember where on the internet I found this idea - sorry.) The kids LOVED the caterpillars - I even got out the googly eyes for them. And that was pretty much all we did that day for preschool.

Saturday: I finally got all the books I was waiting for - I need to request them earlier, I guess. So we just did reading today. The Monkey and the Crocodile, If I Ran the Circus (didn't make it all the way through that one), Coco the Carrot, and the Crunching, Munching Caterpillar.

Next week: Letter A

My new constant companion

2010-10-11T20:24:00.001-07:00

{Photography brought to you by: Eva Webb. Big cheeks brought to you by: Genetics and too much ice cream.}

Here is a little riddle for you:

I am small and black and hang around your neck. My wires will hang down the middle of your chest and make weird bumps under your shirt. I beep if you leave the house without my other half. I am...

a heart monitor.

And I am the lucky wearer. Along with the Holy Ghost, this little baby is my constant companion. For 3 whole weeks. For better or for worse.

I try not to be annoyed by it. When I get irritated by the electrodes and the stickiness they leave on my skin, or want to scream when I turn over in the night and it wraps around my neck the wrong way, I try to tell myself that it's for a good cause. It will read my heart patterns and detect whether or not I have something wrong.

After an appointment with my cardiologist (if that sentence doesn't make me feel 85 years old, I don't know what will), I was relieved to hear that he would do lots of tests to get to the bottom of my weird problem, if there is a bottom. And if there is a problem.

Last week I went in for an echocardiogram (which, I learned, after sounding really foolish to the nurse, is different than an EKG) - an ultrasound on my heart. It was kind of strange going into a room with an ultrasound monitor and seeing something on the screen other than a fetus. In fact, that may be the last ultrasound I ever have, come to think of it. Normally when I have an ultrasound, I am thinking about the miracle of life in terms of my baby. This time, I was struck at the miracle of life in my OWN body. I watched my own heart beating (regularly, thank heavens) and the valves opening and shutting. It made me grateful to be alive.

So I guess if the worst thing I have to deal with is walking through the grocery store beeping like a senior citizen with a bad hearing aide, then life isn't so bad.

Letter M

2010-10-09T21:27:00.000-07:00

Scripture: Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Monday

We started out reading our BFIAR book, Caps for Sale. The kids really enjoyed it, so we read it twice. We went outside in the backyard and walked around balancing plates on our head, pretending they were caps. We did Kumon Cut #4 - we worked on opening and closing scissors without taking our fingers out of the proper position. Eva was great, and Leighton is getting better every time we practice. He insists on holding them upside down, which makes it harder. Eva, after doing her "assignment" of cutting on the gray lines, cuts her scraps into miniscule squares, like confetti. We sang 5 Little Monkeys swinging in a tree. We did Kumon Uppercase Letters #7-8 and traced our alphabet tracing cards with dry erase makers. (Leighton now thinks everything he colors can be wiped off. A few days later, after coloring with a pen on paper, he yelled, "Wipe it, Mommy!" and couldn't understand why I couldn't wipe it off. :) ) Leighton drew straight lines all the way down his card for the first time, and Eva kept writing Ms and turning them into pants (flipping it upside down and drawing a line on the top). That morning we also took Andrew's parents to the Thunderbird museum on-base. The most educational thing that happened there (for the kids, anyway) was learning that Mom can ask them to stop jumping off benches and tell them to be quiet an infinite number of times. How's that for a math lesson?

Tuesday

We read Monkey and Me (Emily Gravett) and then Caps for Sale again - my other monkey library books were late coming in. We made a monkey mask - the kids colored it and then I put some string around their heads and cut eye holes. (Not in that order, though!) They thought they were pretty fancy wearing masks. They traced letter M on the cards again. (Well, Eva did. Leighton loves the letter H and insists on using that card.) Mammy and Pappy were with us that day, so we cut preschool a little short to spend time with them.

Wednesday

Marshmallow day! We read Marshmallow (Claire Turley Newberry) and The Marshmallow Incident (Judi Barrett), both of which were way too wordy and over the kids' heads. Marshmallow Kisses (Linda Crotta Brennan) was much better for them. We went outside and carried marshmallows on spoons in our mouths (like an egg race) and then came in to sort piles of big and little marshmallows. We glued mini-marshmallows on the letter M (Leighton picked them off and ate them, dried glue and all!) We did Kumon Sticker & Paste workbook - they are loving just putting stickers wherever they want - and then Eva did the M pages in one of her Costco workbooks. They ate WAY too many marshmallows that day, but it was all in the name of education. :) That afternoon we went to the aquarium at Mandalay Bay, which, coincidentally, also starts with letter M. Didn't plan it that way, but it worked out. Andrew refused my requests to buy a book on manatees from the gift shop. (Maybe I'm taking this letter of the week a little far...)

Thursday

This was another great preschool day - actually, this whole week was terrific. Several months ago I bought a treasury of Laura Numeroff books that came with a CD. Though we have read the book a hundred times, we had never used the CD. I saw it when I opened the book and decided to give it a try. The kids LOVED it. I had the CD read If You Give a Mouse a Cookie and If You Take a Mouse to School to them, and we danced to the songs that went with the books. It was adorable, and now I'm going to find more books on CD for them, just to change it up a bit. We also read Mouse Paint (Ellen Stoll Walsh) and One Monkey too Many (Jackie French Koller) (one day too late!), which were both awesome books that I want to buy and add to our library. After reading, we did the M is for Mouse craft, which involved me gluing down capital Ms and the kids coloring all over them. I was too lazy to dig out the pipe cleaners and googly eyes, so we'll chalk it up to more art practice. Eva just ended up writing "mouse" a dozen or more times, and all of our names. We did M&M color sorting, which I thought was our best math manipulative ever. Counting AND eating chocolate. Can it get any better? I submit that it cannot! I was even surprised at how little M&Ms were consumed in the process...by the kids, that is. That night, we used those M&Ms to make cookies. I let them stand on chairs next to me by the mixer (which normally drives me crazy, so this was a big step for me) and dump things in. Despite the constant pleas to lick the spatula (which Eva calls "the dough") and the mess, it was fun.

Friday

We used the CD from the Mouse Cookie book once again to listen to a reading of If You Give a Moose a Muffin. We danced to the songs and acted out making muffins. We also read Moosetache (Margie Palatini). We did some alphabet workbook, too.

This was probably the best week yet - I feel like it keeps getting better. Maybe we're getting into a groove, or maybe my planning got better over time, but this is awesome. I don't know what we did all day before we did preschool. It has saved my sanity! And it's not a bad gig for the kids, either.

Coming up next: Letter C!

Letter H

2010-10-01T17:21:00.000-07:00

Can't believe it's been another week already! I keep meaning to blog in between my preschool posts but haven't done it yet. This week went by too fast, but we had fun.

Scripture: Mosiah 2:17

Monday

Reading: Our BFIAR book was If Jesus Came to My House. It went along with our memory scripture and has a great message. Unfortunately I think it went a little over the kids' heads. They were so confused about Jesus being a little boy in the pictures and I don't think they understood the end, where the little boy narrator explains that he had imagined Jesus that way and instead of really spending the day with Jesus, he could treat everyone he sees with kindness. Leighton kept pointing to the pictures and saying, "That's Jesus?" So it may have been a little too abstract. But still a great book. I hope as we keep reading it and talking about it they will understand it a little better.

Letters: Kumon Uppercase #5-6

Fine Motor Skills: they poked holes in a letter H on paper with thumbtacks. This was great activity for both of them.

Play/LMS: Hula hoop! Walmart charges $8 per hula hoop, which Andrew thought was highway robbery, but I think it was worth it. The kids loved it and have been playing with them every time they go outside. I tried to show them how it worked but couldn't successfully get it to stay up longer than about 1.3 seconds. But they have improved at the general idea over the week.

Tuesday

We didn't do preschool that day; instead, we went to the Children's Museum for some hands-on learning, if you will. We went with the Culvers and the Alleys, and Andrew even had the day off and got to go with us.

Wednesday

Another bad preschool day. We did circle time and then I read a few books before I rushed out to a dentist appt. We read The Napping House (Audrey Wood), A House is a House for Me (Mary Ann Hoberman) and The Little House (Virginia Lee Burton). The House is a House for Me one was great, even though I think I liked it better than the kids. The illustrations were engaging. This was our second attempt with The Little House, and for some reason my kids just don't like this book. They won't sit through it, which is extremely rare for them. Maybe it's because there's no interesting characters - I don't know. I think it's a good book, but we'll have to wait a while before checking that one out again.

Thursday

Reading: Are You a Horse? (Andy Rash) - this was a cute idea for a story, but I didn't like the writing. Would have been better if it was more predictable, so the kids could follow it better. The Wild Little Horse (Rita Gray) - I liked the pictures in this book but really wasn't crazy about the writing/story.

Art: H is for House, h is for horse - we didn't do the whole foam thing because I wanted Eva to be more involved in the process. I cut the letters out of paper on my Cricut, glued them on sheets of white cardstock, and Eva drew on all the parts with markers. Her favorite thing is writing words and she is always asking how to spell things; she loved writing the words "horse" and "house" on the page.

Math/FMS: workbook p. 15-19, then hammered golf tees into blocks of styrofoam. Another awesome activity, esp. for Leighton. He was occupied for the better part of an hour with NO throwing!! We did our cutting and sticker workbooks, and Eva kept asking to do "more preschool." I couldn't say no, so we just kept going and doing workbooks - our new Kumon Maze and Number Games ones are great and we did the first 2 pages in each. We went for almost 2 hours straight.

Music: Head Shoulders Knees and Toes, Peter Hammers, All the Pretty Little Horses, If You're Happy and You Know It

Friday

Reading: The Hiccuping Hippo (Keith Faulkner); Hidden Hippo (Joan Gannij); Hippo Goes Bananas (Marjorie Dennis Murray)

Math: Hippo Size Sort and Hippo Color Word Match - these were both awesome for Leighton. I was surprised how easily he matched the colors. The size was a bit more of a challenge (better for Eva) but he still tried and got a few in the right order. I think the hippo is adorable and I'm glad to have these laminated and around for multiple uses in the future.

Letters: We did workbooks and she breezed through them. I sometimes feel we do too much "workbook" stuff and I want her to have freedom, but she loves them so much I can't take them away. So I'll just have to deal with my feelings of being too "schoolish."

Next week: the letter M

1 month

2010-09-23T21:01:00.000-07:00

My sweet baby Dean is a month old today.
I have that strange feeling where it seems like just yesterday that I lay on that operating table, and yet it seems like we've had Dean around forever.
I'm holding him right now, listening to the beautiful sound of his breathing while typing with one hand. His face is fuller and older-looking already. Time is already speeding past, and I'm not ready yet. But I can't slow it down. All I can do is kiss his squishy cheeks, smell his hair, and try to burn his littleness in my memory.
Here's to hoping the next month goes a little slower.

Letter L

2010-09-22T10:46:00.000-07:00

I forgot to write last week what we do for circle time at the beginning of every preschool day. We don't sit in a circle, but I suppose I can still call it that. :) We start with a prayer, then say the Pledge of Allegiance, then the memory scripture of the week. Then I have a bunch of Wee Sing songs that we do - Good Morning, What Are You Wearing, My Name and Address, Right Hand Left Hand, ABC song, Ten Little Fingers, and Days of the Week. (After 2 full weeks we are still struggling a little with right hand left hand but they know everything else. Even our full address!)

Scripture: 1 Nephi 3:7 - this one was a little too long for them to memorize, so I mostly focused on the chorus from the primary children's song about it. This is the longest scripture I have planned so I wasn't expecting it to go as well as last week. Eva still did pretty well, considering.

Monday

Reading: Leaf Man (Lois Ehlert); Red Leaf, Yellow Leaf (Lois Ehlert); Leaves (David Ezra Stein); Fletcher and the Falling Leaves (Julia Rawlinson)

Art: made beautiful fall leaves from crayons and wax paper, tutorial here

Math/FMS: Kumon cut #2

Letters: Trace letter L card; walked around the house finding things that started with L (lid, ladle, lime, lego, lacing card)

Music: It's Autumntime (Primary Children's Songbook)

Tuesday

Reading: Llama Llama Mad at Mama and Llama Llama Red Pajama (Anna Dewdney)

Art: Eva drew a llama and a shopping cart and wrote Leighton's name; I drew a lime and wrote all the words we found around the house; Leighton drew circles and threw things around the room.

Math/FMS: Kumon Sticker Paste #3-4

Wednesday

Reading: Ladybug Girl (Jacky Davis); The Grouchy Ladybug (Eric Carle); Are You a Ladybug? (Judy Allen)

Letters: Kumon Uppercase #3-4

Math/FMS: Ladybug Numbers Practice; Ladybug pattern sort; Unifix cube patterns - Eva really seemed to get the hang of patterns today. I wasn't sure how to teach it and was feeling frustrated, but it seemed to click and she just took off with the cubes. Well worth the money for that math manipulative; I'm sure we'll use those in many ways for years to come.

Art: Ladybug cut and paste - Eva cut out the wings by herself and then glued all the pieces together. She wrote "ladybug" at the top of the page (I tell her the letters and she writes them herself) and was quite pleased with herself. We hung it on the clothesline art display in the play room.

Thursday

Reading: Library Lion (Michelle Knudsen); The Happy Lion and The Happy Lion Roars (Louise Fatio) (those two were a little too wordy/advanced for the kids - they didn't like them as well and I should have found more age-appropriate ones); If I Were a Lion (Sarah Weeks) although I don't know if we should count that one. Someone tore the last several pages out of the library book, so we didn't get to finish it.

Art: Glued down a yellow letter L (cut with my Cricut) and drew with markers to make something that looked like this. Just a little easier to execute with a preschooler. :) Eva also wrote the word "lion" at the top of her page.

Math/SMS: Kumon workbook (I got 3 more from Costco so we have those in case we run out of planned stuff. I really love those workbooks and so does Eva! If you have a Costco, run grab the 3-pack, it was a great deal.). We did lots of extra workbook because she was enjoying it so much.

Letters: Big Alphabet Workbook

Play/LMS: Lion hunt in the backyard! The previous owner of our home left this hideous plastic lion in the bushes - the equivalent of a tacky lawn gnome, but a big green lion. Andrew hid the lion in different spots and the kids ran around finding him. I knew that ugly thing would come in handy someday. I guess we'll keep him around for more lion hunts - as long as he stays hidden in the bushes.

Friday

Reading: we were kind of out of books by today. I'm still working out the kinks in my planning - like how I planned to spend a whole day on ABC Bunny. NOT happening. So we just reread a few of their favorites. Library Lion, though lengthy, was one they liked a lot.

Art: played playdough

Math: workbook p. 11-14

Next up: the letter H

Thankful

2010-09-19T21:27:00.000-07:00

{My last pregnancy picture - 36 weeks. Can you believe I got bigger than that? I can't.}
Two posts in one night - how do you like that?
Tonight Eva said our family prayer. "Thankful that baby Dean came out of Mommy's tummy."
Amen, sister. Amen.

Creatures

2010-09-19T20:44:00.000-07:00

This afternoon Leighton pulled the drawers out of one of my plastic organizer things. They were empty, so I didn't care. In one drawer, he found a live spider. He called Eva over and she said, "Don't kill it, Mom. I want to look at it." So they sat there close (but not too close) to the spider and watched it, squealing occasionally when it crawled around.

The day went on and I still didn't kill the spider. The drawer sat here next to the computer and I checked several times to make sure it was still there, but didn't bother it. (I don't know why. Maybe extreme laziness.)

Just now, I got the baby to sleep and came to eat Wheat Thins and look at baby pictures of all 3 kids. (Andrew is gone.) I saw that the spider had started weaving a web in the bin, and I said, "No way. No webs in my house." Even though we are the Webbs. Only room for one kind around here.

I didn't want to smoosh him, and I didn't want to open the front door to set him free. Besides, he might make it back in my house before Andrew gets around to spraying for bugs. Spidercide. The next idea that popped into my head was to dump the offending spider down the kitchen sink. I carried the bin there and saw that the sink was full of dishes. This spider's death sentence was getting complicated. I filled up the corner he was in with water and tipped it a little to keep him submerged. I stood there for a bit watching him swim, wondering if spiders have lungs and if I could drown him. I realized that I was watching a spider suffer to its death and felt really bizarre and kind of sick. I could have just smashed him, but instead I was torturing him. I walked to the bathroom so he could go the way of all the earth the same way we've sent 4 goldfish, and suddenly the song "All Creatures of Our God and King" popped in my head. Talk about weird guilt. It took two attempts to get him to get out of the bin, but finally he fell in the toilet and I flushed him.

As I walked back to the computer to write down this odd story, I made a decision: spiders are not included in that hymn. All feelings of guilt: gone.

Letter B

2010-09-18T16:40:00.000-07:00

{Our first day of school picture, taken Aug. 23rd.}
Although Dean's unexpectedly early arrival threw off my preschool plans a bit, this past week I felt ready to get back into it. I had spent countless hours preparing and planning, and both older kids seemed ready for more structure after 2 weeks of none at all. Eventually I will get around to making a blog just for our preschool/homeschool stuff, but for now I'll just put it here. I can't even keep up with one blog right now, so starting another one is just asking for more pressure on myself.

I divided our "curriculum" into one focus letter per week. I did NOT go in alphabetical order. Also for each week I have a BFIAR book that we are semi-delving into, depending on my/the kids' interest. We have a meory scripture for each week, and I have to say I am shocked at how quickly Eva memorized it. By Thursday, she knew the whole thing perfectly, and her Dad is still struggling in a few spots. :) Our "subjects" are reading, arts/crafts, math/fine motor skills, letters, play/large motor skills, and music. Since this week we were still adjusting and I'm still trying to figure out how to have older kid time worked in around Dean's feedings, I'm hoping it will get even better. But for our first week of school, it was pretty good.

Scripture: Joshua 1:9

Reading:
The Runaway Bunny by Margaret Wise Brown
Bunny Cakes by Rosemary Wells
Bugs! Bugs! Bugs! by Bob Barner (the kids liked this one)
Buzz Buzz Buzz by Byron Barton
Birds by Kevin Henkes (I LOVED this book - it was my favorite of the week. Kevin Henkes is one of our top 5 favorite authors around here.)
Grumpy Bird by Jeremy Tankard
Boo Hoo Bird by Jeremy Tankard (these were the kids' favorites, they are adorable books)
Boats by Byron Barton
Row Row Row Your Boat by Penny Dann

Crafts:
-Cotton ball bunny (glued cotton balls on a print-out bunny)
-Colored a big letter B blue and glued blue buttons on it (Our crafts were a little lacking this week due to my lack of motivation. We had planned to do this and this adorable B crafts for our alphabet book we'll be making, but we'll have to save those for a rainy day. If it ever rains here.)

Math/FMS:
-Kumon Cutting workbook - Eva's scissor skills were far more advanced than I thought. She did what I told her to (6 little straight lines on the dog's whiskers) and then cut out the full dog, curved ears and all. Leighton, on the other hand, ended up cutting lots of snips NOT on the lines and then just started tearing. :)
-Kumon Sticker and Paste workbook - they were so excited about stickers; I think this will be one of their favorite activities of the week.
-Math workbook - p. 7-10
-Butterfly clip cards - Confessions of a Homeschooler is an incredible resource for preschool printables. She even has a whole ABC curriculum for download for free! Amazing. I printed off and laminated the number cards and the kids clipped clothespins onto them. Leighton had a hard time with the clothespins, but Eva did really well. She knew her numbers better than she did 2 months ago, so I was glad to see her recognizing them all.
-Playing with beads - this is Leighton's favorite activity. He pours the beads from cup to cup and digs his hands in them...and eventually threw them all over the place when I was distracted. But Eva is good at helping him clean up, and I think it's worth the mess.

Letters:
-Big Alphabet workbook - we got this from Costco just for fun a long time ago, along with another one we have, but she did the Letter B pages in there. She really loves and does well with workbooks. We need to get Leighton one because he keeps asking to do his workbook when she does hers.
-Letter practice - I made some big alphabet "flashcards" where Eva can trace the dotted letters for practice. I saw some Kumon cards for $10 and decided I could make my own much cheaper. I printed them on cardstock, 2 letters to a page, and laminated them with my new Scotch laminator. If you want the file, just leave a comment with your email and I'll be happy to send it.
-Butterfly writing practice - this was really easy for Eva but I think it will be a good challenge for Leighton soon. If he can stop throwing markers long enough to focus on something.

Music: (I found 4 Wee Sing CDs on clearance at Borders a while back and have really enjoyed them. Good selection of basic songs.)
-Little Bunny Foo Foo - they fell in love with this song and we listened to it at least 30 times in a row. This was a song I had fond childhood memories with as well, so it was fun to see them hopping around and acting it out.
-The Bear Went Over the Mountain - again, we listened to this several times before they got tired of it. They got their teddy bears and pretended to climb mountains - the stairs and the toy chest.
-Baby Bumblebee
-Two Little Blackbirds

Things I planned to do but didn't (just for the record): Make paper birds; cut out and glue shapes to make a boat, beanbag toss, backwards obstacle course, and play sailboat with a laundry basket

Fun extras: made banana ice cream (actually Andrew made it) - YUM! Especially with Nutella and strawberries; found a bumblebee costume at a consignment sale and watched the kids buzz around.

Eva mastered writing both uppercase and lowercase B, and I think it's starting to sink in that words start with letters and it's not just a guessing game. Both kids love preschool and are already begging to read next week's books. Coming up: the letter L.

The Story of Baby Dean

2010-08-29T11:51:00.000-07:00

Monday started out as a normal day. I was excited because it was our first official day of preschool. After spending hours planning out things for the kids, Monday was THE day. I woke up early to get ready, and we spent the morning in productive learning activities - reading, coloring, and writing. In the afternoon I put Leighton down for a nap and played playdough with Eva. At 3pm I decided I didn't want him to sleep too long - it always throws off his bedtime - so I went upstairs to get him up. I opened his door and found his eyes open. I went to lay by him and cuddle him to wake up slowly.

As soon as I laid down on the bed, I felt my heart start pounding in this really strange way. Not like I was out of breath from walking up the stairs, but a strange, irregular beat. It was beating so hard that it felt like the baby was kicking my shoulder or something - really odd. I laid there for a minute more but really felt like something was wrong. Eva came up, and I left the kids to go lay on the couch. Resting did nothing to slow my heart down, and I got the feeling that something wasn't right. Thinking it was my blood pressure, I decided to call the dr. and make sure it was normal. The nurse seemed really confused and was asking me if I had eaten anything or drank anything, etc. Lots of weird, unrelated questions. I tried to keep calm and explain that although I was resting, my heart was still pounding. She called the dr. and the dr. said to have me come into L&D at the hospital. I was a little scared but figured they would see that they baby was fine and send me home. I dropped the kids off around the corner with Stacey and didn't even say good-bye to them. Didn't even pack them a bag or anything, I was in such a frenzy to get to the hospital and get it figured out. I kept trying to call Andrew and couldn't get ahold of him. Finally on my way to the hospital, after calling my mom to inform her of the situation, Andrew called. He was just about to leave work, which is about an hour drive, so he said he would meet me at the hospital.

I got up to L&D at 4pm and was put in a triage room. The nurse assumed, as did I, that this was a routine thing and didn't even put me in a hospital gown. I was hooked up to the monitors and found, thankfully, that all was well with the baby. She put the little thing on my finger to get my pulse and that's when the circus began.

Over the next couple hours there were over a dozen people in and out, feeling my pulse with confused faces, staring at me, poking me, drawing blood, injecting me with terrible medicine that made me feel like I would die. I was a medical mystery. Andrew got there around 5pm. The cardiologist, the anesthesiologist, the OB, the nurse - everyone was puzzled by me. They debated back and forth whether it was atrial fibrillation or not and what to do to treat me. My heart was plugging along at 220 bpm , but I wasn't symptomatic - I felt fine other than that the pounding was giving me a headache. They determined that I would need to be put on a drip of heart medicine overnight, but the Air Force hospital ICU couldn't accomodate me. They decided to put me on an ambulance and transfer me to a local civilian hospital. (Even though Andrew requested that I be flown in a helicopter, they thought ground transportation would be more appropriate. :) ) At that point we didn't know what would happen with the baby, but they were sure that I would not be able to have a VBAC (as I had planned) since my heart would probably not be able to handle the stress of labor. A C-section it would be, but nobody knew when.

Andrew went home to get the kids settled - the bishop's wife graciously offered to stay with the kids overnight so Andrew could be with me - and I was taken to another hospital. On the ambulance ride (which wasn't nearly as cool as it looks on the movies) I started having pretty regular contractions. Which for me is a huge deal, as I've never had contractions without pitocin. I was worried that all the stress might cause me to really go into labor and then we'd really be in a bind. I was on heart medicine the whole way over there, but my heart was still racing at 180-190 bpm. The medicine was having no effect whatsoever.

They wheeled me into the ER where I met the most disgusting human being I've ever seen. He was an insane homeless man they had picked up in a gutter, and he was in a stretcher right across from me. He said the most crude, repulsive things to me as I sat there waiting for a bed. I will never be able to repeat his words, but I'm sure I'll never forget them either. That's when my love for Las Vegas was taken even a notch lower - I couldn't believe I was hearing this as I was in such a medical emergency.

There was a big confusion about where I should go and nobody knew quite what to do with me, but eventually I ended up in OB, hooked up to more monitors. No improvement on my heart, and now I was having regular contractions about 1-2 minutes apart. The nurse was freaking out, everyone was in and out asking me a million questions, and I started to freak out a little too. The cardiologist came in and said they were probably going to have to shock me with the paddles to kind of restart my heart, but he was worried about the effect that would have on the baby. The anesthesiologist came in (he was a total jerk) and said he wouldn't touch me until my heart was better under control. Andrew finally got to come in around 9:30pm. They had to cut my shirt off as they couldn't move around all the heart monitors. (That was fun. One less maternity shirt in my wardrobe.) From listening to the drs. talk, I eventually realized that they were planning a C-section for that night. (It really is appaling how little they told me as the patient. I just had to eavesdrop to figure out what was going on.) Andrew hadn't even brought the camera or any baby clothes or ANYTHING. We were completely unprepared for a baby that night, but it looked like he was coming anyway.

They gave me a medicine called Varapamil to slow my heart enough that they could do surgery. It seemed they were feeling more and more urgent to get the baby out so they could fix me, and I started to get really scared. The medicine seemed like it was working and they got my heart rate down in the 120s where the anesthesiologist felt comfortable enough to give me an epidural. The epidural was another one of the memorably painful experiences of the night - nothing like my other 2. It was awful, he was brushing up against all kinds of nerves and had me screaming like a baby. The cardiologist left, thinking I was under control, and said he would come back in the morning to do a scope of my heart and try to find out what was wrong.

They wheeled me into the OR, and again the chaos broke loose. My heartrate started climbing again, and it got back into the 180s. The drs. were all yelling at each other, everyone was running around, and I began to seriously feel that I might die. The epidural was couteracting with the heart medicine and having a terible affect on my body. It was all I could do to keep breathing and my chest felt so terribly heavy. They screamed to get Andrew out of there, and they put the paddles on me in case my heart stopped. (Which to me at that point it looked like it would. I have never been so certain that I might die.) The OB began surgery, and unfortunately I could feel everything. They couldn't give me more epidural because my blood pressure was so low, so they just put an oxygen mask on me and told me to focus on breathing and it would be over soon. I can't tell you how long those 15 minutes seemed. I felt everything. I thought a few times about just giving up and not trying to breathe anymore, because it was so incredibly hard. Finally I heard the baby cry. I heard someone say he was breech and he was 8 pounds. The pain was making everything hazy, and I just remember kicking my legs repeatedly. They kept telling me to hold still, but I couldn't. Andrew came back in at some point to hold my hand. The pain was so intense, I kept saying I couldn't do it anymore.

After a while, the nurse brought Dean over to me. She put his little cheek against mine, and for a few seconds everything disappeared but me and that little baby. I couldn't feel anything but the softness of his skin, and I just wanted to float away with him. Then they whisked him away and the pain came crashing back on me. Because of my heart, they couldn't give me much for the pain - a little morphine to "take the edge off." It must have been a big edge, because it didn't help at all. I don't remember how long it took for me to calm down. They took me to another room where they wrapped my stomach up and gave me clean sheets, and then took me to the cardio ICU for the night. My heart rate eventually slowed, and Andrew left when I was drifting off to sleep with the help of medication.

The next 3 days were living hell. I only got to see my baby twice for a total of maybe 2 hours. They kept me in the ICU and wouldn't allow the baby there because of the risk of infection. They wouldn't allow me to the nursery either, so I suffered all the physical pain with the added emotional pain of being separated from my baby. I can't even describe how difficult it was - any of you who have kids can imagine. Though my heart rate showed that I was fully recovered and fine, the dr. insisted that I stay on monitoring. I hated that dr. with my whole being, but there was nothing I could do. They determined that it may have been just the stress of pregnancy that caused it, but there could be an underlying condition. Oddly enough, they never did any testing to be sure. So I just sat there, useless and helpless, with Andrew occasionally going to spend time with Dean.

On Thursday morning I determined that I was going to walk to the nursery and nobody could stop me. I didn't care if it took me 3 hours and I bled to death on the way there - I was going to see my baby. Andrew stood in front of the door and wouldn't let me leave, and I just collapsed crying in his arms. I figured if they kept us separated any longer, the anxiety would send me into cardiac arrest, and then they would have to let me up there.

Finally finally, on Thursday afternoon, we got discharged to go home. They wheeled me the long walk to the nursery and I got to see him. It was terrible putting Dean in a carseat when my arms were just aching to hold him, but nobody really cares about mother-baby bonds, apparently. Except the mother and the baby, of course. I sat in the back seat with him and held his tiny hand the whole way home. I've hardly set him down since.

Now it's Sunday, and he's 6 days old. The knowledge that this is more than likely our last child has made me look at baby Dean in a whole new light. I have never felt a love so permeating, so complete, in my entire life. Of course, I loved my other babies, tremendously. But the appreciation I feel to have Dean after all we went through makes him seem extra miraculous. I feel almost a desperation to keep him tiny and new, and I simply cannot get enough of him. Even in the middle of the night. :) The last couple days have been like a dream. Of course I have had 2 or 3 meltdowns from the pain, but today I feel as good as new - or as new as you can feel with staples across your stomach - and full of gratitude. We came out of that experience stronger and better, and I am so so so happy to have him in my arms.

Dean Perry Webb

2010-08-24T22:29:00.000-07:00

Dean arrived at 10:50pm and weighed in at 8lbs even and is 19.5" long. Baby is very healthy and Mommy is doing considerably very well. I will let Stephanie tell the crazy story once she is well and up to it. It may be a while so don't hold your breath.

A break from the heat

2010-08-12T15:17:00.000-07:00

Last week I declared I couldn't handle the heat any more. Not one minute more of sweating, not one more time of stepping out in the suffocating heat and feeling like my lungs would catch on fire, not one more load-up in a car in a burning-up parking lot. So we took a drive up to the mountains in search of cooler temperatures.
I am happy to report that we found them. My jaw dropped along with the temperature recorded on the van's thermometer thing - when we reached a low of 75 degrees I almost cried from joy. The slight breeze made me want to sit in the shade and never go back home. That idea seemed especially grand when we pulled back in the driveway and saw 108 as our new climate. But breathing mountain air was good for my soul and gave me a little boost. At least for an hour or so, until the heat got to me again. I have never been so thankful for air conditioning, or for a husband who lets me keep it at 74 degrees at night. (My little oven won't let me sleep if it's any warmer than that.) He doesn't even complain when the electric bill comes in at a whopping $300. Good thing this pregnancy is almost over - I can soon go back to being the one who is always cold. I hope.

A few things about this Sabbath day

2010-08-01T20:27:00.001-07:00

Andrew made hashbrowns for breakfast. He is in love with our food processor. He uses it for everything. Grating cheese and potatoes are his current favorites. His hashbrowns were way good - his best yet. He has been cooking a lot lately and it makes me so happy. I can't really reach the faucet at the kitchen sink without awkwardly leaning over, and I'm just generally tired and not in the mood to make food. Thanks to him, we are still eating well. (Although I still can't explain the 2 lb.-per-week weight gain the last couple weeks.)

This morning in sacrament meeting, we were singing "Oh Ye Mountains High." I leaned over to Andrew and said, "This song is about Washington." Where the pure breezes blow and the clear streamlets flow, How I've longed to your bosom to flee! Oh, how I miss that beautiful place. I like Vegas, but I LOVE Washington. Oh, and then, since it was Fast Sunday, I got to listen to a bunch of people stand and say that they wanted to bury their testimonies. I had to keep snickering. Is there one big testimony pit, or does everyone kind of find their own little spot? How deep does one need to dig to sufficiently bury it?

Then, in Sunday School, I was skimming through the chapters as the teacher talked about certain stories. And I found this disgusting verse: "So we boiled my son, and did eat him." (2 Kings 6:29). Umm, I'm sorry. What? That is the sickest thing in all of scripture, I'm positive. But then, on the next page, I found a smiley face. It's in 2 Kings 7:13. It's cute. If you use the KJV of the Bible, go look it up. That didn't make up for the cannibalism in the previous chapter, but it cheered me up a little.

And that's all.

Remember me that way

2010-07-24T16:36:00.000-07:00

Today I went into the depths of depression. As I loaded the new pictures from my camera onto the computer, I thought, "Wow, my face looks fat." Not just like I've put on a few pounds from pregnancy, but swollen and gross. Have I really changed that much? Do I really look like that? So I went back and looked at old pictures. BIG MISTAKE.

Look how cute I used to be! No swollen nose with fat rolls for nostrils, no giant ankles or sausage feet. That is my real face, the one I have forgotten. I knew I used to be able to open my eyes wider. And there's proof.

I really hate the last 10 weeks of being pregnant. I know I should think about the miracle of life and all, and that's all fine and good for some people. Good for them. But the only miracle I can think of right now is that I'm still able to put lotion on my legs without passing out. September can't come soon enough.

Nervous habits

2010-07-21T13:13:00.000-07:00

I love this girl. I love (almost) everything about her. She is adorable and fun to be around and hilarious. But the last few weeks, she has developed a few nervous habits. Not a big deal, I thought, until yesterday. Her "habits" (clearing her throat) increased to once every five seconds at the longest interval. She was grunting ALL DAY LONG.

I was at a loss. I tried scolding. I tried distracting. I tried telling her to twiddle her fingers when she felt like clearing her throat. I tried giving her drinks. Nothing worked. I kept picturing her around other kids and having them make fun of her for being weird. I prayed last night that she would stop.

So today, the throat-clearing grunt is significantly better. But now she's doing this weird whisper of sounds thing. Like "rk-tch-ka" over and over. While I'm reading to her, while she plays with dolls, while she eats...I don't know what to do. It is a little less annoying than the throat thing, but still. Not very socially acceptable.

I am positive she got this from my side of the family - we Andersens are known for our strange nervous habits. So I feel partly responsible, at least genetically. But now, I'm not quite sure what to do. What would be the best way to get her to stop this?? HELP!

Our first visitors

2010-07-20T14:54:00.000-07:00

Last Thursday night, my sisters Cami and Kim (with baby Sam in tow) pulled up to our house. I was so excited to have people come stay at our house for the first time. (One of the perks of living here will be seeing family more often, I hope.) The first thing they said when I walked out the door was, "Man, it is HOT!" It was 11pm. I said, "Wait until the sun comes up!"

Aside from them hating the heat as much as I do, we had a great time together. We took the kids to see Toy Story 3 and went shopping at the outlets on Friday, and on Saturday we ate at a buffet and saw the strip. (What a disgusting place.) Saturday night I got a babysitter for our first time here and we went to a Minute to Win It party at some friends' house. Kim and Cami stayed for church on Sunday and left in the afternoon. I was sad to see them go and hope that they'll come back soon. Although I wouldn't blame them if they waited until winter.

Pet owners once again

2010-07-15T14:35:00.000-07:00

Last year my Mom came to visit us in Washington. It was the beautiful fall time, while Andrew was still deployed, and we went to the pumpkin patch to get some pretty gourds and yummy hot donuts. But a different day, we had to stop at Office Max for something, and while I ran in the store, my Mom took the kids next door to Petsmart.

Little did I know what a brilliant move that was. We have since gone several times - it's a great way to look at animals without going to a zoo, and the kids hardly know the difference. When Andrew came home, he started going with us. Even now, if the kids are good in a store, we sometimes reward them by going to the petstore afterward.

The thing is, this practice seemed to awaken in Andrew a desire to have a fish tank. He always wandered off to stare at the tanks and price them out. We both wanted a huge one (like the kind that take up a whole wall) but that was just a dream, obviously.

We went again to Pesmart at the very beginning of the month, and Andrew seemed more in love with the fish than ever. After so many times of looking at the fish, Andrew decided to, as he put it, "just bite the bullet" and get a fish tank. I was just happy he was finally communicating something he wanted to buy for himself, as that is a rare occurence in our marriage. We got a Biorb, which is pretty dang cool. Because of the ammonia levels in the water (or something) we could only get 3 fish at first and we can add one every 28 days up to 8 fish. We named our little trio Milton, Enid, and Molly. (Eva chose Molly - she's the black one.) They all look very distinct from each other so it's easy to tell them apart.

Andrew has diligently fed and cared for the fish morning and night, and I frequently find him sitting on the couch watching them swim. (Even when we are watching a movie, he watches the fish.) The kids think it's fun to feed them with Dad's help, and I'm just glad have a pet that I don't have much to do with. They are low-maintenance and relaxing to watch, so I'm one happy pet-owner.

Andrew jokes that we should just get more fish and have no more kids. Some days I'm inclined to agree. See? I'm not an animal-hater. I officially like owning fish.

A few messages, and St. George

2010-07-13T14:40:00.001-07:00

This is a little message to the weird person who leaves Asian-character comments on my blog every day: PLEASE STOP. Thank you.

This is a little message to Blogger: You are so annoying how you haven't let me post pictures in my old, normal way for at least the last year. That is why I only put one picture per post. Sometimes I hate you and you make me not want to go to the trouble of blogging. Please go back to your old self. Thank you.

This is a little message to Henry Louis Gates, Jr.: I love all your documentaries. You are awesome, and you make me want to do geneology. Thank you.

Anyway, here's a report on our fun trip to St. George. It was at Leighton's birthday party las Friday; we were all (us, the Culvers, and the Noyes') sitting outside eating cake and puddles of ice cream in the cool 105 degree evening, when Clay said, "Let's go to St. George." After all our initial reactions of laughing and joking about doing it, we all said, "Why not? Let's do it for real." So we gave ourselves an hour to pack and bathe the kids and be on the road. We got to Clay's parents' vacation house at about 11pm and went to bed.

Andrew and Clay got up early the next morning to go golfing; the rest of us slept in until 9am or so. After Clay was soundly defeated by my Tiger Woods of a husband, we all went to a late breakfast at Village Inn. The early afternoon was spent swimming at the local pool, which was awesome and so refreshing. During nap time, us girls took off to do some shopping and left the men home with the children. Kara, Stacey, and I hit up Tai Pan (where I spent the most money and got some awesome stuff for the house including a beautiful giant basket that has no specific purpose yet), stopped for refreshment at Arctic Circle, then finished off at the outlet mall where I bought nothing and Stacey bought a way cute black dress. (Maternity shopping is no fun, especially at non-maternity stores. I much prefer to watch skinny people buy clothes for themselves and dream of the day when I, too, will fit into normal sizes.)

Finding all to be well at home with the kids, we were glad we had gone and not shopped a bit for our kids. We went to dinner at 5 Guys Burgers and Fries, where I decided that the fries are far better than In'n'Out's and the burger was awesome too. We finished off the day with Nelson's Frozen Custard and headed back home to Vegas.

Oh, but I can't forget how we drove home at the very peril of our lives. That's in bold because I am so serious, we could have died. Some freaky guy followed us for about 35 miles, flashing his brights and changing lanes right behind us. Clay finally called 911 as a precaution, we pulled off a well-lit exit, and the freak sped on by. 35 miles is a long time to not take a proper breath, I tell you what - I was a little winded from all that paranoia. I was so scared, but thankfully all was well.

This is a little message to St. George: You are beautiful. I want to live in you someday. (That's a weird sentence if ever I have typed one.) Save me a spot, preferably near the golf course.

Thank you.

Back pain

2010-07-12T13:03:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I pinched a nerve in my lower back or if my belly just suddenly grew bigger and threw a huge curve in my spine, but I am dying.

It all started Saturday night just before we left to come home from our spontaneous 24-hour trip to St. George with the Noyes and Culver families. I got out of the car after the 1.5 hour drive and was in a lot of pain.

Yesterday it wasn't better. I woke up sore, bore it through church (even stupidly wearing heels because I had to give a talk in sac. meeting), and after church didn't do much but lay on the couch. Except for playing games with the Noyes family, where I just sat in a chair. Andrew gave me a good back rub (more like back push - I needed some serious spine digging) before I fell asleep last night and I thought today I would be fine.

But no. I woke up even worse this morning. I did a prenatal yoga video thinking it would work out whatever kink is in there, but as the day goes on I am steadily getting worse. I feel the same way I felt after my C-section, like I can't stand up straight. The more I try to act normal, the stiffer I become.

Does anyone have any back pain remedies for pregnancy? I don't think I can handle 8 more weeks of this without self-prescribing bedrest.

Happy birthday, Leighton!

2010-07-11T15:52:00.000-07:00

Have you seen Brian Regan? There's a really funny part where he's talking about shopping for a greeting card in the store and making fun of the card section called "New Baby." He says, "Is there such thing as old baby?" And then pretends to be a dumb guy who says, "My friends had a baby...and I let time get away from me...and he's 12." It's hilarious. But that's how I feel. I let time get away from me. All my good intentions of frequent blogging last week were all for naught.

But I came to report that my baby turned two. You know, this baby.

All of the sudden he's looking like this

and causing all sorts of trouble. I don't get it.

But we celebrated his day with friends, hot dogs (his favorite food) and a basketball cake and ice cream. He got a basketball hoop, some blocks, and the Incredibles movie for his gifts and was thrilled with all three. It was a special treat to have Daddy home for most of the day. If you remember from last year, Daddy was in Kuwait; he's never been around for a Leighton birthday. He was especially glad to be there.

So happy birthday to my Bubba. I'm so thankful to have you. Even on days when you are violent and insane, I couldn't have asked for a better boy.

Blessed beyond measure

2010-07-06T13:13:00.000-07:00

{For your viewing pleasure: possibly the least successful family picture we've ever taken. At least Andrew is smiling}

I feel blessed. There are so many things I have in life that I didn't earn, nor do I deserve. But there are a few blessings that, lately, I have been able to measure.

-12,000 lbs. of household goods. That is a mere 1,000 lbs. under our limit, so we scraped by. I blame it on Andrew's motorcycle, but he blames it on my craft supplies. (He's probably right.)

-2 months and 2 days of living in Las Vegas without a home. This is not so much a blessing as a trial, but they say that trials are a blessing. So what do I know? Maybe in a year, when I've forgotten how depressed I was, I will look at it as a blessing. It has been so nice getting used to living in a house, although very strange not to just throw clothes back in a suitcase. I didn't realize how foreign hangers could become in such a short time.

-30 pounds of weight gain in this pregnancy so far. (Holy stinking cow, Steph, what did you do? Eat out for two months? Yep. And it shows.) 30 pounds of healthy baby and really healthy me. I allotted myself 40 pounds total to gain during this pregnancy, so I have a mere 10 pounds left in the next 9 weeks. I hope I can stay within that range. If not, oh well. Jillian Michaels is waiting for me at the end of postpartum recovery, and she'll make it all go away. Pound by slow pound.

-4,107 miles. That's how far I traveled in June to visit both sides of the family and temporarily escape homelessness. It was so fun to be at my parents' for 2 weeks and then in Colorado for Webb Sisters' Week for 36 hours.

-5 profile pictures hanging on our wall. Andrew hung baby Dean's ultrasound picture in the lineup, and it makes it feel more real that we will very soon be a family of 5. Whoa.

It's official.

2010-06-30T21:55:00.000-07:00

We are homeowners.
We finally finally finally closed on our house today.
It was a long, horrible process, and I'm so relieved it's over. I'm going to pretend it never happened and continue unpacking our never-ending boxes. And cooking meals in my awesome kitchen.
Hotel Webb is now open to visitors. Come on over.

Going home

2010-06-22T11:29:00.000-07:00

I never got around to blogging while here in Houston. We had a grand time, especially for the days when everyone (except Andrew, as usual) was together for our Andersen family reunion.

But our flight is this evening and we're going home. Yes, home, because we got a house! Finally! We should (knock on wood) close tomorrow and have the movers come Thursday, if everything works out. I'm not planning on it, but I'm hopeful. Andrew has been living in our house for about a week and a half and we'll just pay rent to the owner until it's officially ours. No furniture, but it's home.

Now if I can just get through the airport and flying business unscathed. (On the way out here I turned around in the airport bathroom to find Leighton holding a used tampon applicator. Makes me throw up in my mouth to think of it. That definitely counts as scathed, in my opinion. If we can avoid that again, we'll survive.) Wish me luck.

Next time I post it will be from my new home!

Let's blow this popsicle stand.

2010-06-08T10:10:00.000-07:00

We have been in Las Vegas one month and 7 days.
We are no closer to getting a house than when we arrived.
I'm getting the heck out of here and going to my parents' house in Houston for 2 weeks.
Peace out, Sin City.

Monday #4

2010-05-24T08:15:00.000-07:00

Today marks 4 weeks since we arrived in Las Vegas. Our 4th week living out of suitcases and carting everything from place to place. We are staying at the Culvers' house again while they are out of town. We are grateful for generous friends who shelter our homeless selves and save us lots of money on hotels. As we pulled our suitcases in yet again last night, both Andrew and I remarked how utterly tired we are of this. We are really hoping to close this week. Otherwise I'm running away to stay with family somewhere and not coming back until I have a home. :) I'm not trying to be a complainer, but it will be so nice to have a home to call our own.

We had to take Eva to the doctor on Saturday and found out that she has a UTI. I was so relieved just to get a diagnosis and some antibiotics to help the poor thing feel better. Her medicine tastes disgusting and she has to take it twice a day, but she has been so brave and good about it. Medicine is a REAL struggle with her, so this is truly a miracle that she's taking it well.

Yesterday Andrew and I watched the PBS documentary "Faces of America." I highly recommend it - it was awesome. It made us both want to learn more about our family history. Also, that we had enough money to have our DNA examined.

Maybe the third time WILL be the charm.

2010-05-21T15:22:00.000-07:00

I am starting to prepare mentally for giving birth to and having another newborn. As you know, I have always been verbal about how much I hate the baby phase. Yesterday I came upon a blog called SortaCrunchy - she did a series of posts on Babywise that made me step back and think...a LOT. I thought about WHY I don't like having a newborn. Obviously, it's not the newborn's fault. But for some reason, I went into parenthood with the mentality that the baby was the adversary and it was a battle from the beginning. I couldn't give an inch or I would lose the war. (Where did this come from? I don't know. My mother CERTAINLY doesn't feel that way. She adores babies.) Schedule them, put them to sleep in their own bed, cry it out, don't give in when they wake up at night, show them who is boss and how things work from day one. Those were my goals. Um, hello? No wonder! What an incredibly stressful way to enter parenting. Now that I have done it twice, I'm ready to try something new. And I'm really hoping that the third time will be the charm.
I'm going to try breastfeeding again. But this time I'm not going to pump - I've done that enough for a lifetime. I have put many heartfelt prayers up, asking for my body to know what to do and how to produce enough milk to feed this child without supplementing formula. Not because I'm against formula (obviously), but because I want to try something new.
I'm going to try wearing this baby in a sling. I know it's a controversial topic right now what with the media craze on 2 types of slings being recalled. But I feel I have educated myself enough that I feel good doing it. We'll see how it goes.
I'm not going to push sleeping through the night at 8 weeks with this baby. I will still retain a somewhat scheduled approach if I can, simply because that is my nature and personality. But I won't hold any iron-fisted standard over where we SHOULD be with sleeping. I'm going to try to relax in that area and be a better nighttime parent. (Read this post, please. It really got to me. That is one of my main struggles as a mother.)
I'm going to look at this baby as a gift from the Lord and try to savor the precious newborn moments by rocking and cuddling rather than stressing out about schedules and feeding times.
So there is my admission that I did it all wrong the first two times (thank heavens they still turned out fine, so far) and I'm ready to go at it again. With fresh perspective.

My bi-monthly update

2010-05-20T14:52:00.000-07:00

~I haven't taken a single picture in a LONG time. Not even on Andrew's birthday or Mother's Day. Terrible.
~Yesterday two old roommates from my first semester of college, Samye and Marissa, came to swim at our hotel. Kara came too, and it was like a twilight zone moment. I just kept thinking, how strange. I never would have imagined 7 years ago that one day we would all be sitting together at a swimming pool in Las Vegas. Life is strange.
~I'm getting an awesome tan. And I found a cute maternity swimsuit - at least as cute something so large can be. I am SO much bigger than my other pregnancies at 24 weeks, it's not even funny. I cringe to think how huge I'll be at this point with #4. I don't know if it's physically possible to stretch any bigger any faster.
~We got in trouble from the hotel for the kids coloring with chalk on the sidewalk. The guy came today with a huge, LOUD machine to rudely spray it all off. Part of me wants to be spiteful and just give them the chalk again and tell them to go to town. The immature side of me.
~Today as I made peanut butter sandwiches for lunch, I broke down bawling. I miss Washington. I have never cried from missing a place in my life, other than Nauvoo. But I do miss WA. This time of year is the BEST there. I miss my friends there, and I miss SO much having a house of our own. I am trying every day not to spiral into uncontrollable depression from being homeless, but it's really really hard. Probably one of the biggest trials on my patience I've ever experienced. Unfortunately, I think I'm failing at this trial. I JUST WANT MY HOUSE. It's almost all I think about, try as I might to distract myself.
~Andrew started training. He has an hour and a half commute each way from our hotel, so it makes for some long days. For all of us. But I'm glad that he's keeping busy and is back in study mode. It reminds me of when we were first married and he came home with all his big pilot binders. This is the 4th "pilot training" we've experienced in our marriage. And hopefully the last.
~I got to take a Target trip by myself the other day. I bought an adorable turquoise hat with a big brim for all our days at the pool, some bright pink nail polish to compliment the beautiful tan feet I'm getting, and a bag of gummy bears. And a ring, and some more sunglasses (I can't seem to keep track of them for very long). It was so nice to go by myself and be able to look around at what I wanted!

Living in a casino

2010-05-10T14:46:00.000-07:00

We made it to Las Vegas! Right now, we are living in a casino. Here is a recap of the last 2 weeks or so, for anyone who is interested.
April 27-29: The packers and movers came to our WA home and took away all our stuff. We slept those first two nights in our own house and then the third night got a hotel on base. (Air mattresses and I do NOT agree, especially when I am pregnant.)
Fri., April 30: After cleaning and totally emptying our home, we pulled out of town around noon, leaving that beautiful place with a few tears and lots of great memories. As I left the house for the last time, I leaned on the counter and imagined all the good times we had there. I saw myself pulling meal after meal out of the oven and standing over the stove countless times. I saw the kids sliding down the stairs on their stomachs at top speed, laughing hysterically. I saw Leighton learning to crawl and walk. I saw Andrew caring for our backyard, planting our garden, and aerating every chance he got. Good times. That night we stayed in Coeur D'Alene. We ate dinner at a yummy Greek restaurant (the chef's name was Eva) and slept in the HIE, our home away from home.
Saturday, May 1: Our longest day of driving. Andrew somehow forgot Leighton's allergy to dogs and let him pet a filthy one at the hotel in the morning. After him screaming for a while, we found a little mountain town to pull over and found his little eyes almost swollen shut. After we realized what caused the reaction and I was sufficiently angry with Andrew, we gave him Benadryl and were back on our way. (Separate cars the whole way was NO FUN.) We drove through never-ending Montana, stopped in Missoula for a terrible lunch, and finally made it through snow storms and rainclouds to my sister Kim's house in Idaho Falls. Her little baby Sam was a week old that day, and it was fun to meet him and see my mom, who was still there helping out. We ate Cafe Rio for dinner and once again slept at the HIE.
Sunday, May 2: We went to most of sacrament meeting at Kim's ward and left after eating Mom's delicious chicken noodle soup for lunch. (I had 4 bowls.) We made it to Utah that evening and had fun visiting with all the Webbs. 5 of the 8 siblings were there, and I was reminded how lucky I am to love all my in-laws so much. Annie made us a good dinner and we had a good night's sleep in a comfortable bed. Oh, and at this point our allergies were in full swing. Eva was the worst and was sniffy and sneezy and wheezy - the worst for a car ride.
Monday, May 3: We stopped to see my sister Cami at work for a minute and then went to a late breakfast at IHOP. Of all places, that is where the greatest miracle happened on this trip: we got the phone call saying we got the final approval on our house. After I got off the phone I couldn't hold back the tears. Minutes before getting on the road to Las Vegas, we found out we had a house to call our own. Better late than never. The drive wasn't too bad that day, as we were so excited just to get there. I was pretty surprised by the heat so early in May and wished in my heart for the cool WA rain. (It wouldn't be the last time I wished for rainclouds that week.) We went to our friends' the Culvers' house, where we were staying while they were out of town. Our house is in their neighborhood, so we got to drive and walk past it a couple times that day, wishing we could just go straight there. But it was so nice to sleep in a home and not a hotel. That night we went to Clay and Kara Noyes' house for dinner, and I felt SO grateful to live near friends that feel like family.
Tuesday, May 4: Andrew reported to work, and I waited all day for 5pm to come. At 5pm we walked around the corner to our house and got to go in for the first time. I was pretty nervous, considering I had only ever seen 5 pictures of it and had no idea what condition it would be in. When I walked in the kitchen, I had to hold back tears, for real. It was PERFECT. The whole house is perfect and I couldn't have hoped for anything better. What a miracle that it's ours. (Or it will be, if we can ever close. And if I can ever learn some patience. I'll be patient AFTER we get in the house, I promise.) As it's still occupied and still full of someone else's stuff, the kids didn't last too long in there. We made a good celebratory dinner of fajitas and ice cream and talked about the house all night long.
May 5 - Friday, May 7: Tried to pass the time while Andrew was gone at work. Friday afternoon the Culvers got home and it was so fun to see them. We gave them their house back and went to eat dinner (purchased from my new favorite grocery store) at an awesome nearby park. (Okay, the weather here in the evenings is blissful.) We spent the night at yet another HIE.
Saturday, May 8: Went to Home Depot to shop for Andrew's birthday present. Leighton was not acting very appropriately for a public arena, so we gave up and went to the Culver's. Hung out there in their amazing backyard for a while, then went to do some more shopping at Target. Late afternoon we got frozen yogurt from a cool place called U-Swirl. We stopped at Costco so Andrew could get my Mother's Day present, then went to the Noyes' ward luau, which was the coolest ward party I've ever been to. (Sorry to my old ward, but you know what I mean.) Good food, great weather, dinner on a blanket on the grass, and hula dancers that inspired Eva to shake her hips the rest of the night. Awesome. We moved to our new temporary home at the casino hotel, where we have a great view and a beautiful pool.
Sunday, May 9: Mother's Day. Let me be honest: it's not my favorite day. I'm not sure why. The talks in church always bother me, my kids always act terribly and make me wonder why I am a mother in the first place, and for heaven's sake I'm always pregnant. Except last year. Throw on top of that our first Sunday in a new ward, terrible allergies with watery eyes included, and you can guess my mood yesterday. Less than stellar. I did get to talk to my missionary brother for a few minutes and then had a meltdown in the car that was brought on by hunger and not getting a treat from the boys handing them out at the door (to mothers). The third hour of church improved my outlook significantly. Sometimes all I need is to be with some other women, I guess. We spent the afternoon in our hotel calling our mothers and doing nothing (a theme in our lives right now - makes me long for our house even more!), then went to the Culvers' for a delicious dinner. By that point I was able to appreciate my gift of a Shark Steamer (I really shouldn't watch infomercials...it's all I wanted since I saw it!) and my kids a little more.
Monday, May 10: Still no closing date yet, grrr. But we did get to spend the morning at the luxury swimming pool, which is always nice. Lunch at TGI Fridays and a lazy afternoon waiting for Leighton to wake up from a much-needed nap. Now he's awake, so maybe I can convince Andrew (who has the week off) to let us go somewhere. I've never longed so much for a kitchen to clean or a sewing machine to make a skirt for this heat.
But all my housing impatience aside, let me be honest: I love it here.

Farewell to Washington

2010-04-27T07:49:00.000-07:00

Our most recent family picture - last night in front of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge
Our movers will be here in about a half-hour, and we're about to shut down this computer for good. At least for good in the Pacific Northwest. I feel strangely like once this thing is unplugged, it's official that we're leaving. So here's one last post from my loft with chartreuse walls.

I had a sad moment last night as I looked through all our pictures (when I should have been packing) and made a stack of ones that reminded me of things we would miss about Washington. The people, for one. Marelize, Melanie, Monique, Deidra, Deb, to name a few. And their kids - my kids will miss their little friends.

I'll miss this house. My green kitchen, the view out my kitchen and bedroom windows, our neglected garden, our central vac system.

I'll miss this beautiful state. The green green everywhere, the gorgeous rocky beaches, the park across the street, being able to cut down our own live Christmas tree, our view of Mount Rainier right outside the neighborhood, spring afternoons in the backyard on a blanket, the farmers' market, even the rain.

How do I say good-bye to this place without getting all sentimental? I can't. And I hate good-byes anyway. So before I think too hard and start to cry, I'll just go clean out the pantry. One last time.

It's a boy!

2010-04-24T20:05:00.000-07:00

I had my ultrasound yesterday. After months of Eva being certain it was a girl, we were (I was) surprised to find out we are having a baby boy. We'll be naming him Dean (after my dad), and Eva has not stopped talking about him since. Tonight while reading to her, every picture she saw with a girl and a smaller boy she said, "It's Eva holding baby Dean!" Baby Dean this, baby Dean that. She is very excited. And so are we.

Moving stress

2010-04-22T08:41:00.001-07:00

For the last month, I have lived mentally on the edge of my seat, waiting for news. News about when we would move. Where we would live. We have renters moving into our house, but we needed a way to get out of here and a place to go when we got to Las Vegas. Praying, crying, and finally a few days of depression and hopelessness. Then at last, yesterday we got some official news. The movers are coming on Wednesday. Although we still don't have a place to go for sure, I am relieved that our stuff will be out of this house so the renters can move in.

I don't know that I will ever get used to the way the military does things, since it is so highly inefficient and completely frustrating. This is our 5th move since we were married, and it's by far the most stressful one yet. The closer it gets to leaving here, the more I can't believe we're already going. I love love love it here. And yet, I LOVE moving. I love the excitement of change and getting to a new place with a fresh start. The hard part is waiting in limbo for so stinking long. Now I'm just praying that the bank will hurry it up so we can have another beautiful place to call home. I don't want to be homeless for too long.

Happy Spring!

2010-04-13T10:29:00.000-07:00

Boring little me.

2010-03-28T21:44:00.000-07:00

"Your blog's so boring these days." That is what Andrew just said to me. On the phone, because he's gone again. Of course, you knew that because, hello...I'm blogging. He's right, though. My blog is pretty boring. Sorry. My life, however, is not. Eva turned 3 last week, we took a little family trip to the Oregon coast (see above picture), and we've been busy enjoying Andrew being home. For 20 days straight! That was a record, I think.

One thing that is strange is when I see people/talk to relatives on the phone and they ask how I'm feeling. Every single time without fail, it takes me a few seconds to realize they are referring to my "condition." Why is it that I momentarily forget - all the time - that I am pregnant?

Eva put a hair elastic around her wrist after we had put her to bed the other night. She woke up with a very swollen hand and I freaked out. Thankfully, she was fine and the swelling was gone by the next day. I was grateful she didn't put anything around her neck.

I am almost finished with my Personal Progress for the second time around, as a leader. I am so excited to get my new (silver!!) medallion before we move in May. I have been working so hard and trying to get it all done, and it's way better the second time around. I am so going to miss being in the Young Women's program.

Leighton is impossible to discipline. He thinks any stern talk is a game and starts laughing. Which makes it really hard for me not to laugh. I just don't know what to do with him. He's too cute for his own good.

That's all. Boring, yes, but at least it's something new for Andrew to look at.

He's back.

2010-03-08T20:08:00.000-08:00

Andrew got home last night. 2 days earlier than scheduled. Hallelujah.

I think it was because I never once prayed for him to come home early, only that he wouldn't come home late. So I was blessed, doubly.

I cooked dinner tonight, for the first time in a few weeks. Because there was someone to eat and appreciate it. Alfredo sauce, yum.

I am keeping busy planning Eva's third birthday party, set to take place next weekend. It will be my biggest birthday party yet, and I'm so excited. It's an art theme, and I'll be sure to post pictures and details as they happen. Tonight we delivered most of the invitations (it will be small) and she felt pretty big handing them to her friends herself. I can't believe she's almost 3. She drew the art for the invitations herself, and they are adorable. I can say that, because it's true, and not just because I'm her mother. I think she could get a job for Pixar for Monsters Inc. 2. My little artist - this will be the perfect party for her.

This boy

2010-03-06T15:42:00.000-08:00

This boy thinks his daddy lives in the sky.

Wherever we are, whatever we are doing - every time an airplane flies over (commercial, private, or military), he stops what he is doing, waves at the sky and shouts, "Hi Daddy!"

I wonder if he ever wonders why Daddy doesn't just land and come home if he's always constantly overhead. But of course, when my answer for his "I want Daddy" pleas is always "Daddy is in an airplane," of course he thinks that. If Daddy is in an airplane, then every airplane is where Daddy is. No matter how long Andrew is gone, this boy always says hi to him in the sky.

My first quilt, phase 1

2010-03-03T18:32:00.000-08:00

Back in July, just a few days after Andrew deployed, I was staying at my parents' house in Houston. We went to a quilt store and I fell in LOVE with some Moda fabric. I decided to buy the jelly roll (the line is called Hello Betty) and make my first quilt. I sewed all the strips together and cut them in blocks, and then I came home.

The fabric sat there that way, in a stack of blocks, for months. On my desk, and then put away in a bin. Until this week when I pulled it out and fell in love with the fabric all over again. So I put it all together. I was scared to work on it without my mom there, but I decided to overcome my fear of quilts and just dive right in. I sewed all the blocks together in rows and then sewed the rows together.

There are a few mistakes, but overall it's pretty straight. I love how it turned out. I am waiting on the rest of the fabric to come (totally didn't think about borders, binding, and backing back in July when the fabric was still in stores, so I ordered it online last week) so I can finish the top, and then it will be sent off to my mom for quilting.

I'm so proud of my pretty quilt, and especially that I made it ALL BY MYSELF.

I just might make a prom dress yet.

First day of preschool

2010-03-01T20:05:00.000-08:00

It's finally March! I felt like February would never end. I have been waiting for March 1st for a long time. Today was the day I started Eva's home preschool. After a recommendation from a trusted and wise friend, I purchased a book called Teach Me Mommy. I have been planning and preparing for about a month for our first lesson, Me and Myself.

This morning when 9am rolled around I enthusiastically welcomed my two kids to preschool. (They're thinking, Um, Mom, we're still in the living room.) We said the Pledge of Allegiance, the months of the year, and days of the week, and looked out the window to determine the weather (cloudy, of course).

We learned about Eva's name, looked at baby pictures of her, practiced writing the letters E,V, and A, read books, sang songs, marched around the room, marked their heights on a growth chart on the wall, colored, and made sugar cookies with the letters of our names. Lucky Leighton has a long name so he got the most cookies.

It was harder than I thought to keep things going. Eva often fought what we were doing. She didn't like being directed on her letters at first. Getting her to stand against the wall to measure her was a battle. Making sugar cookies was a total mess.

But at the end of the day, I feel really good. My house isn't spotless, but I spent the day teaching and playing with my kids. And although it doesn't get a check on my to-do list, it still feels pretty good.

This girl

2010-02-28T13:36:00.000-08:00

On the way home from church today:

"Mommy, sometimes people die, and Jesus says, 'No! Stop doing that right now!' And I like butterflies. And Jesus likes chicken and rice. And Jesus doesn't want us to run in the road, but there's no cars. But sometimes there's cars. And Jesus doesn't want us to fight."

Sounds like she's learning something in nursery. But who taught her that Jesus likes chicken and rice? From the mouth of babes, I guess.

Dear baby

2010-02-27T20:41:00.000-08:00

{This is me the day before giving birth to Eva. You may not recognize me with my nose the size of a Twinkie, but it is in fact me. Me, over 200 pounds. I'm sorry, did you think I was kidding when I said I was swollen? And look at the size of that BELLY!}

Dear baby,

Here you are at 12 and a half weeks gestation. I know you are so small and your brain probably can't process much. But I have a very important request. I'm asking this early on, before it's too late.

You see, I am the type of mama who gets fat when I'm pregnant. My belly isn't cute, at all. It's massive and stretches across my whole body - even my back. So what I'm asking is if you could somehow curl up in such a way that I look like one of those cute girls carrying around a basketball under their shirt. Don't spread your baby-ness to other parts of my body. Take all those calories you are making me crave and use them for energy to make me into a cute pregnant woman.

I just worked so hard to shrink down and now, just shy of the second trimester, my jeans are already getting tight. Too soon, baby, too soon. There is plenty of time to grow later. Please keep me un-pregnant-looking as long as possible. And if you must start poking out, please try to look cute and round.

Thank you.

Your partner in growing,

Mom

Thoughts on my traveling man

2010-02-26T07:17:00.000-08:00

There are times when I think, "Yeah. That's why I married Andrew. He gets me."

Like in January, when he was coming home from a trip a few days before my birthday. He made a stop in Tennesee and found Bluebell ice cream at a little store. Knowing how much I adore Bluebell ice cream, he bought a little cooler and filled it up with a bunch of little containers of different flavors. He flew it home himself (self-imported Bluebell!) and gave it to me as a surprise (early) birthday present. Unfortunately, much of it had melted and refrozen and had lost the creamy texture that defines Bluebell. But it was still delicious because of the way it had gotten into my hands.

Or like yesterday. I was at my wit's end with housework and the children and didn't know what to do. Andrew and I were chatting on Skype (since his internet connection is so bad we can't have a vocal conversation, we have to chat like 15-year-olds) (lol brb). Sensing my frustration (after I typed "I hate Skype"), he says, "Take the kids somewhere. Go to the gym." I was again filled with frustration. The gym and I have a negative relationship going on right now. I don't WANT to work out, but I know I SHOULD, and it's a big, complicated, mental problem I have. So him telling me to go was enough to push me into tears.

I almost typed "I don't want to go" but instead sat there crying to the screen. He continued, "Go to the gym at least for the babysitting. You need some time for you. Take some earphones and just watch TV while riding the bike. Or go swimming. Or just buy a smoothie and just sit there and drink it while the kids are away from you in daycare." As I read his words, I started crying even harder, but not out of frustration anymore.

That is exactly what I needed him to say. Go to the gym for me. Not because I'm getting fat already or because we are wasting money on a membership by not using it. But to get a break from the kids and nothing else. I agreed to go and, still crying the whole time (pregnant much?), got ready to go to the gym.

I ended up swimming - 30 minutes of a workout and 30 minutes of play time. You know, like 7 year olds do. Floating around, diving down to play tea party, blowing bubbles...it was very therapeutic. As I showered and got ready to get the kids back, I said a (tearful, of course) prayer of gratitude for Andrew and the way he knew just what to say to me. It's not always that way, of course. Sometimes he says the way wrong thing. But sometimes, when it matters most, he is exactly right.

I love you, honey.

The Best Spinach-Artichoke Dip EVER

2010-02-25T07:52:00.000-08:00

I love food. I love to make and eat food - new recipes every week. One of my very favorite foods - top 5 at least - is Spinach Artichoke dip. The first time I tasted this was in college, and my roommate Kristi's parents took all of us out to eat at TGI Fridays. I fell in love. While Andrew and I were engaged, I always bought and heated up the frozen Friday's dip. Totally unhealthy, but so delicious that I could easily eat the whole pan by myself.

Our first year of marriage, we hosted a Christmas party with all our neighbors, and I went all out on planning the food. I found a recipe in a Kraft magazine for Spinach Artichoke dip, and I knew my time had come to make my own dip. I made it, and even after quadrupling the amount of cheese it called for, it still wasn't the best ever.

When we moved here to Washington, I started having playgroups with Melanie and Marelize. At one such gathering, Melanie made THE spinach-artichoke dip. The one that changed my life and the way I felt about dips in general. It was the BEST I have ever tasted. I forced her to make it for me several times, and at last, like a bird learning to fly, I made it on my own. For last year's Christmas party.

And then again last week as a thank-you to Neal Minetto for babysitting my kids. But really, I shouldn't have given it away. This dip is sacred. It is incredibly cheesy, salty, garlicky, and delicious. Perfection, really. You MUST make this dip. Serve it with tortilla chips or bread, or, heck. Just eat it straight out of the pan. I know you'll want to.

The Best Spinach Artichoke Dip EVER

1 8-oz. package cream cheese (at room temp)

1/4 c. light sour cream

2-3 wedges of Laughing Cow cheese

1/2 c. grated fresh Parmesan cheese

1/4 c. grated mozzarella cheese

1/4 c. mayonnaise

1 Tbsp., heaping, of minced garlic

1/2 tsp. dried basil

1/4 tsp. garlic salt

1/2 tsp. lemon juice

1 14-oz. can artichoke hearts, drained and coarsely chopped

1/2 c. chopped spinach (if you use the frozen kind, make sure to squeeze out all the excess water)

sea salt and pepper to taste

Cream together cheeses, mayo, garlic, basil, garlic salt, and lemon juice. (I just mash and stir with a big spoon until it's farily smooth.) Add chopped artichoke hearts and spinach. Mix well until blended. This can be stored in the fridge until ready to use - great to make ahead. Spray 8 x 8 pan with non-stick spray, pour in dip and smooth. Top with extra mozzarella cheese until the top is satisfyingly cheesy. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes or until edges are golden brown and cheese is bubbly. Let cool enough that you don't scald your tongue, and then dive right in.

p.s. I know that picture is absolutely horrible. It makes the dip look revolting. But it was the best I could do at the time. And I know I'm one of those people who is bad at posting pics, so I trying to improve on that, at least. I promise it's way better than that dark picture makes it look.

p.p.s. Thank you Melanie, for giving me the recipe and improving the quality of life of any and all who may taste this dip.

Some days...

2010-02-24T07:41:00.000-08:00

Some days, the sun never makes an appearance, and normally that doens't bother me. But sometimes it does.

Some days, I start the day out with a list of things to do and a certain amount of energy. But by the time afternoon rolls around, I glare at my list with hatred and anger and don't feel like doing anything.

Some days, I can't think of anything for the kids to do. My mind is exhausted, so I flop on the couch in a reclined position and let them slide down my legs like I'm a human playground. For 30 minutes.

Some days, I have good leftovers in the fridge for dinner, but I'm too lazy to warm them up (and don't want to create more dishes to wash). So we have cold cereal for dinner.

Some days, no matter how many times I pick up the toys, I still go to bed with the house looking like a tornado hit.

Some days, the piles of clean laundry threaten to overtake the house. So I shut the laundry room door and try to pretend clothing doesn't exist.

Some days I sit and read to the kids forever, and although I know it's a good thing to do, I feel like I should be doing something more productive.

Some days, being a mom is really stinking hard.

Some days are like yesterday.

But today is a new day. I WILL mop the kitchen floor, if it's the last thing I do. I will get the clean laundry folded AND put away. I may not do everything right, and I might lost my patience a couple times, and there might still be legos strewn across the floor by 8pm. But I'm just going to keep trying.

I've lost control of my appetite, and it has nothing to do with pregnancy.

2010-02-23T07:18:00.001-08:00

I was at the park with the kids on a beautiful, warm, sunny day. I was chatting with Marelize and enjoying not being in the house when I saw a car pull up at a house across from the park, and a mother and daughter got out. The daughter was wearing a green vest. Marelize said, "Oh, they must be delivering Girl Scout cookies!" My heart pounded. Delivering them? When had they taken orders? Marelize said a month ago.

No. No. It couldn't be. Had I missed my chance to enjoy the most delicious annual treat? I sprinted across the road and breathlessly asked the mother if I could still order some. My soul filled with joy as she said yes. With shaking hands, I wrote down what I wanted on her very-full order form. 1 box of Tagalongs, 1 box of Samoans, and 3 boxes of Thin Mints. (Thin Mints are one of life's greatest pleasures, you know.)

My 5 boxes were delivered a few hours later, and I handed over the $20 check without batting an eye. (It's a good thing Andrew isn't home.) We first dug into the Tagalongs for a late-afternoon snack. Oh, they were incredible.

That night after the kids were in bed, I was watching the Olympics and talking to Andrew on the phone. I brought a package of Thin Mints on the couch with me while I watched and talked. Before I knew it, over half the package was gone. Boy, are those things easy to pound. And heavenly.

Yesterday...we finished off the Tagalongs. (Really, there aren't that many in the box. Not enough.) Okay, I finished off the Tagalongs. And the package of Thin Mints. Come on, there were only like 6 left. Last night during my Olympic session I brought to the couch the box of Samoans. They are so sweet and rich that I could only eat 2. I counted that as a blessing, seeing as I had already eaten about 3,000 calories of cookies that day.

But I can't help myself. It's a once-a-year splurge, and I haven't bought any since we've been married. I figure once they are gone, they are gone.

Except I know the Girl Scouts will be sitting outside Walmart next week, tempting me once again. And I can't promise I won't stop and buy a case of Thin Mints. I hear they freeze well.

An angry rant on the topic of the BYUs

2010-02-22T07:31:00.000-08:00

{This is Laura}

I have a few words to say concerning BYU vs. BYU-Idaho.

My sister Laura, after months of planning on getting into BYU and having her living arrangements worked out, ended up not getting in. As her backup and "only other option," she settled for going to BYU-Idaho. My parents were disappointed in her, I'm sure, as my Dad is BYU's most ardent fan.

This attitude makes my blood boil. The attitude that BYU-I is a lesser school and second best and a fall-back for anyone who doesn't get into the Lord's true university. I know I shouldn't feel these emotions, and they usually remain dormant. But when I get the feeling from people that my school - the place I love probably most in the world - is not good enough, I want to wring their necks.

I admit that BYU probably has higher academic standards. It probably is harder to get in there. It's a much bigger school, and they have many top-ranking programs. But I would be hard-pressed to say that anyone who goes to BYU is smarter or more intelligent or studied harder than I did simply because of the school they attended. Just because someone goes to BYU doesn't mean they are more "chosen" than a BYU-I student. I know nobody would ever say that out loud or even concsiously think it, but I guarantee you it's in people's psyches. The feeling of superiority in some BYU students - even long after they have left it - is very insulting.

And just for the record, I DID get into BYU. I think there is a mistaken assumption in my family that I didn't. I got in, twice - once when I first applied, and once again when I was thinking about transferring, which I thankfully never did or it would have taken me another year to finish school. I (gasp!) CHOSE BYU-Idaho over BYU. I didn't WANT to live in Provo. I am so grateful I went to Idaho, for so many reasons. I may not have gone to the world's best business school or whatever blah blah blah, but I went where I was meant to go.

So please, PLEASE (my Andersen family members), please do not think Laura simply isn't good enough for Provo. There is a mission for her to fulfill in Idaho, just as there was for me. There are wonderful things for her to learn that she might not ever learn at BYU. The Spirit is so strong on that campus, and she will have some amazing experiences.

Let's all get rid of this sickening attitude that those who go to BYU-I just aren't as good as the BYUers. For real.

My beanbag adventure, and a little aside about my girls' camp trauma

2010-02-21T20:12:00.000-08:00

The other day as I was researching things I wanted/needed to get for Eva's preschool program (more about that later), I saw some beanbags. I thought, "I could make some beanbags."

I googled online for a beanbag tutorial and found this adorable one from Lil' Blue Boo. Um, hello? Those are the cutest beanbags I've ever seen in my life. So the next morning (Thursday) I got brave and took both kids the the craft store to get some fabric and everything else I needed. I got fabric. But after Leighton was leaning way out of the cart and throwing every bottle of puff paint he could reach on the floor, I decided to forego painting the letters on the front for now. A plain beanbag is good enough, right?

Friday afternoon, I laid out the fabric on my coffee table. I was a little nervous, as this was to be the first sewing project I had ever carried out completely on my own. Kind of a big deal. I ironed the fabric (aren't you proud, Mom?) and then got to cutting. I loosely followed the tutorial, although I just found a mark that looked right to me on my ruler without knowing the exact size. But they were all the same size, so it was a victory indeed. I matched up all the fabrics and found that I had 24 beanbags. Whoa. Way more than I intended - apparently I got a little cutting-happy. Oh well.

I sat down at my machine and got to work. It took a little practice to get everything just right. My machine tried to battle with me, but I pulled out the instruction manual and put that little Singer right in its place. After sewing a few squares, the hum of the machine became relaxing. It was like an out-of-body experience and I had suddenly become my mother. The hum of that machine is the background noise of my late childhood, in a way.

As I sewed, I started thinking about how I would blog about this project. About how I would post pictures of the finished product and feel so proud of my accomplishment. I tried to think of a good opening line for my post, one that would convey the idea that I got this crazy idea and totally carried it out. Like "The other day I got a wild hair and..." There was a certain phrase I was trying to think of...something about a bee. I ran through the options in my mind. A bee in my hat? No. A bee in my underwear? No. A bee in my pants? In my brain?

But the underwear one brought back a memory of that one time at girls camp (about age 15) when I was in the bathroom stall changing out of my swim suit. I put my underwear on and felt a little lump right at the crease of my thigh, you know the spot? I reached in and pulled out a full-on BEE. FROM MY UNDERWEAR. Funny memory, but not the right phrase. The words eluded me, and I pondered as I sewed. I got all 24 squares done, turned them right-side out, and ironed them again. (Mom, for real, are you proud of me?) (I NEVER iron.)

Saturday night I had Monique over for scrapbook night, but instead of scrapbooking, I worked on my beanbags. It was slow going. I don't own a funnel, so I was pretty much filling up the dang things bean by bean. I top-stitched around them all to make them look pretty. After a couple hours, I had completed 6 beanbags. Here they are, for your viewing pleasure.

Oh, and I remembered the phrase. So here's my opening line, as a closing line instead:

The other day, I got a bee in my bonnet. I made some beanbags.

Speaking of cheese, still

2010-02-20T18:41:00.001-08:00

Tonight for dinner I made one of my favorite meals. It takes about 5 minutes to make, and it is almost an exact duplicate of my favorite dish at the Spaghetti Factory. There are 3 ingredients: spaghetti, butter, and Myzithra cheese.

Myzithra is a Greek cheese made from sheep's milk. It is dry and salty and DELICIOUS. I have only ever found it at Safeway in the specialty cheese section. It's slightly expensive, but totally worth every penny. It's perfect for a quick dinner - just cook up however much spaghetti your family will eat, melt a pat of butter on top and toss to coat, then grate enough cheese for about 1/4 c. per person. (If you are like me - I want every noodle strand coated with Myzithra goodness.)

I had another post planned for today, but...it's Saturday. I'll be back tomorrow. With a post NOT about cheese.

My stinky fridge, and a weird dream

2010-02-19T07:36:00.000-08:00

My fridge has had a weird smell for a while. Every time Andrew and I thought we had found the source of the smell and disposed of it, the next day led to more confusion as the smell remained. Yesterday morning I opened the fridge and was again grossed out and puzzled. Then my eye caught something at the very back of the middle shelf. I moved everything out of the way (that wasn't the first time, by the way) and found...

my big Costco container of feta cheese WITH THE LID OFF.

Bingo. And disgusting-o.

It had fallen behind the shelf - probably got knocked back when someone pushed the soy milk in a little too vigorously - and was practically invisible to the casual observer. I threw it away, and within a few hours my fridge smelled normal again. Mystery solved, happy ending.

But then last night I had a dream. In my dream, I was with my friend Monique (that's mostly who it was, although in my dreams a person is never just one person), and she was telling someone how I don't like cheese. She said, "Stephanie mostly just likes cheddar, but even that she picks off her food and gives it to us." I tried to interrupt her lies. "No! I love cheese! I love feta, and gorgonzola, and blue cheese..." but nobody was listening. This unknown audience was totally falling for half-Monique's dream lies about my not liking cheese.

So in case you were there in my dream and you believed her, let me say that I LOVE cheese. Despite the unfortunate feta incident, which makes my pregnant stomach churn just thinking about it, I am still a big cheese fan. That's all.

P.S. My current favorite cheese, the kind that I ate almost the whole block in one day, is Boursin Garlic & Herbs. It's expensive, but it is oh-so-worth-it. I think I'll go finish it off for breakfast.

My Life by Winter Olympics

2010-02-18T07:54:00.001-08:00

The other night, Andrew and I sat watching the opening ceremonies of the Olympics together. Olympics are a big deal to us. As we sat watching, I realized that if I measured my life in winter Olympics, it looked pretty good.

Salt Lake City, 2002 - I was a senior in high school. In Orem, UT. I never even stepped foot at the Olympic Park. Although it was less than an hour's drive from my home, I never took the chance to go. (Big regret.) I did win tickets (from some contest at school) to go see a luge competition, but I didn't go. Because it was on Sunday, and because I had no idea what the luge was. Andrew went with his brother Perry to something, but we didn't know each other at the time. If only my high school self had known my future husband was standing mere minutes from me, I would have sacrificed life and limb to get to Salt Lake and see him. Little did I know. :)

Nagano, 2006 - Andrew and I were engaged. We sat in my nasty apartment in Colorado Springs, on a nasty little couch, watching all the Olympics we could and kissing during all the commercial breaks, I'm sure. We were crazy in love and less than 4 months from getting married.

Vancouver, 2010 - Once again, we are not too far from the location of the Olympics. Vancouver is just a few hours from us. But after looking at ticket prices for the events I would want to attend, I decided ice skating was NOT something I would sacrifice life and limb, or $200, to see. So there we were on the couch together again, with two kids sleeping upstairs and one happily gestating. Not kissing at every commercial break, but contentedly being together for one of the last nights before Andrew's trip.

I can't even imagine what the summary will be 4 years from now. But I can't wait to see.

P.S. We are DVRing the entire Olympics. And I have to admit that I always fast forward through biathlons of any kind, any event that doesn't have an American or someone with a touching story, and lame commercials. I like the Visa ones, and the P&G one makes me cry every time. You know, this one. Admit it, you teared up a bit.

One month

2010-02-17T07:40:00.001-08:00

Today is exactly one month since the last time I blogged. Not much has changed since then. My hair is a little longer, and I got a pretty necklace from my father-in-law for Valentine's Day (both pictured above). I still have really fat cheeks (also pictured above. Thanks, Dad, for that genetic gift.) I didn't mean to go this long without talking to you, but now that it's an anniversary of sorts...I'm back. Andrew left yesterday, for the first time in a while. He's going to be gone a long time. So I made a goal to blog every day while he's gone.

For my first post of many consecituve posts, here is a bit of news:

We are moving to Las Vegas! There is a "For Rent" sign up in our front yard, and we have put an offer on a beautiful house (with a gigantic kitchen) in Las Vegas. We won't be moving until June, so we still (thankfully) have a little while here. Andrew is making a permanent change of careers and switching to one that won't require him to watch his children grow up on Skype. We put a lot of prayer into this decision and feel very good about it for our family. (We made the decision around the first of January.) Obviously I have mixed emotions, as I LOVE it here. We have some amazing friends waiting for us in Vegas, and I can't wait to live near them again. I'm just trying not to think about the moment when I actually physically drive away from Washington and my beautiful house with the green kitchen, never to see it again. It makes me sad, even with all the wonderful things we have to look forward to. In the desert. Where is never rains and I will probably sweat every single day. Eww. But my husband will live with me almost every day of the year, and I will sacrifice any amount of sweat for that.

Next bit of news: Andrew and I recently went on a cruise with my skinny sister Lindsay and her husband Kenny. (I feel like I should add in an adjective for Kenny after saying Lindsay is skinny. Buff Kenny. Funny Kenny. Fair?) We left from Galveston on the first of February, leaving all 4 grandchildren with my mom.

We had a fabulous time. 2 chilly and windy and non-tropical days at sea where I wished I had brought more than one sweatshirt, one stop in Progreso where we visited the Mayan ruins of Chichen Itza, one stop in Cozumel where we lounged on the beach with chips and guacamole and virgin strawberry daquiris, one night of me throwing up, one unfortunate accident where aerodynamic Andrew went down a water slide and put his toes through the grate at the bottom and lost most of the skin off his feet, many hours of playing Nertz and Hand & Foot, lots of yummy food (and I mean LOTS), and lots of laughing.

I was smart this morning and blogged before the kids woke up. It seems that may be the only way to make this daily-blogging goal possible. So expect to see more morning posts from me for the next month. I'm off to do more laundry and avoid the guilt from my NEVER working out anymore. Those fat cheeks aren't going anywhere any time soon.

The Story of the Turkish Rug

2010-01-17T13:53:00.000-08:00

Part 1
The second day of November, 2009. A Monday. It started out uneventfully. Mid-morning, I decided to run some errands with the kids. Andrew was due to come home from deployment in 2 short days, and it was all I could think about. We stopped at Winco for some milk, and as I left the car I realized I didn't have my wallet with me. That's strange, I thought. But I wasn't too worried. I dug for some change in my purse and had enough to buy the milk. When I got home, I looked in the car for my wallet. It wasn't there. I looked around the house a bit and started to panic. When was the last time I had used it? I realized it was all the way back on Friday night, October 30th. Weird. I hadn't even seen it. I decided to entertain the possibility that my wallet could have been stolen. Leaving the kids downstairs to play, I ran up to the computer to check our credit card statement.

As I looked at the computer screen, my heart dropped like a ton of bricks. There was a charge for a huge amount from a strange terrorist-sounding vendor. Instantly I knew - my wallet was stolen. Shaking like a leaf and trying not to cry, I began the 3-hour process of calling all our financial accounts and cancelling and closing everything. Bank accounts, credit cards, everything. I made a detailed list of what had been in my wallet. I put a security hold on our credit so nobody could use our social security numbers. I called the police and filed a claim. A police man came to my house; I gave him our credit card statement and told him where I thought the wallet had been stolen - in the parking lot of Payless Shoes. They must have gotten in my purse somehow when I was putting the kids in the car, I thought. It was the only explanation. I left the kids with a friend to go to the bank and open all new accounts.

It was a long, mentally and emotionally exhausting day. I emailed Andrew to tell him what had happened, having no way to reach him otherwise. All I could do was wait until he called. I waited for a couple hours and then decided it wasn't likely he would call. I lay in bed thinking about the man who had my wallet, wondering if he would try to come after me. He had my whole life in his filthy little hands, and I was terrified for our safety.

I had just drifted off to sleep when the phone rang. I jumped to answer it, heart pounding when I saw it was Andrew. So relieved to hear his voice, I started crying and pouring out my whole sad story. He listened, and then said, "Honey, I bought a rug." He laughed halfheartedly as I realized what he was saying. My wallet was NOT stolen. That strange, humungous charge on our credit card was Andrew's doing, purchasing a handmade Turkish rug to surprise me. I didn't know what to feel. Relief in a way, but then total panic. What had I done? I had cancelled our entire financial existence. I had done things that could not easily be undone. And if my wallet wasn't stolen, where in the world was it?

With Andrew's direction, I ran down to the garage and tore apart the car, looking again for the wallet. No luck. I cried again, this time feeling so stupid, but frustrated. Of course, what else should I have done? It was purely bad luck that my wallet went missing the same time Andrew bought a Turkish rug. Neither of us knew the other thing would happen.

The next day, bright and early, I called Payless Shoes, thinking it was the only place it could be. That was where I had last used it, so it had to be there. The woman (whom Andrew had already called from Turkey) said she was very sorry, but there was no wallet there. Dejected, I hung up and ran to my craft room to be alone. I fell to my knees sobbing and praying. I told the Lord how badly I needed my wallet. My military ID was in there, and I wouldn't be able to pick Andrew up the next day without it. (At this point, Andrew was on a flight on his way back to the US.) I begged for help in finding my wallet. A moment later (after what I'm sure now was a prompting), I decided to go to the Payless parking lot. Maybe it had been stolen after all, but maybe the offender took the money and ditched the wallet in a bush or something. I loaded the kids up and, praying all the way, drove to Payless.

Around the parking lot I drove, peering in every little corner. I went into a Verizon store next door to ask if anyone had returned a wallet. No, they were very sorry. I was about to get in my car and leave when something told me I might as well just go in Payless and check ask them one more time. I was already there anyway - why not?

I walked in and got down on my hands and knees to look under the display racks. The saleswoman came up carrying a stack of boxes and looked at me curiously. I stood up and said, "I'm Stephanie Webb, the one who called this morning about the lost wallet. I just thought I would come in to..." She interrupted me and said, "We have your wallet!" She took off to the back room and brought it back triumphantly. "I didn't have your number to call you and tell you. I found it in a shelf back there. You must have just left it on the counter." I stammered a sincere thank you and ran to the car, where I once again burst into tears - this time tears of complete gratitude.

As I sniffed and sobbed, Eva said, "Mommy, are you happy?"

"Yes, Eva, I'm very, very happy. Heavenly Father helped my find my wallet!" We celebrated all the way home. And I've never gone back to Payless Shoes again.

With the rug purchase cancelled (I claimed it as fraudulent, of course) and my wallet restored, all was well. We were out a rug, but we had everything we really needed.

Part 2

The twelfth day of January, 2010. A Tuesday. Andrew had come home from work for the day, and it was about 4pm. We were upstairs in the loft talking when he noticed a UPS truck outside. "Looks like it's coming to our house," he said. The doorbell rang seconds later and he ran downstairs to get the package. I wondered what it could be, as we hadn't ordered anything. He called up, "Honey, you'll never guess what we just got." I tried to guess. "A package from my mom?" He walked up the stairs holding a giant round bundle. Puzzled, I stopped what I was doing to watch him open it up.

He pulled back the wrapping to reveal...the Turkish rug. The ill-fated thing. It was absolutely beautiful. Despite knowing the exact price tag, I couldn't help but fall in love with it. It seemed impossible that it should be here, after the whole fraud business. We figured the Turkish man would curse that dishonest American and just not send the rug. But apparently something didn't work as we thought it had, because there we were, with the rug in our posession. We spread it out on our bedroom floor (it matched our wall color exactly), and decided we should keep the rug after all. So Andrew got online to pay for it while I admired the intricate design. But now, every time I look at the rug, I just have to smile.

It's definitely a rug with a history.

Temporary Sunday freedom

2010-01-10T20:19:00.000-08:00

Leighton turned 18 months yesterday, so he was officially old enough for nursery today. (Although we've been cheating and letting him go for the last couple weeks.) Today as I sat in Sunday School and Young Women's, I felt the most wonderful sense of freedom. Nobody to chase or worry about trying to keep quiet. Nobody crying to me for snacks or a drink. Just me and Andrew, sitting together, just like the old days back when we were dating. It was glorious.

As I sat there basking in the Spirit and the joy of being kidless, I told myself, "Self, you'd better enjoy this Sunday freedom. Because you only have 8 months left of it."

A shove in the right direction.

2010-01-07T20:07:00.000-08:00

Suddenly, I can't remember how to blog anymore. It's not that I don't think about blogging. The thought of people getting on my blog, seeing nothing new, and sighing with disappointment at my lack of posts drives me crazy. But for the last little while, I tell myself to go blog, and my mind has this breakdown. "What should I write about? I have absolutely nothing to say. I can't even remember how to form an intelligent thought in writing. I don't want to just write about my kids or post Christmas pictures. But what interesting thought do I have that anyone would want to read?" Hence, the last few months of sporadic posting.

So this is my pathetic attempt at blogging, no matter how uninteresting.
Here is a list, since I usually love to make lists. Here are a few things I have an undying love for lately:

~Shrimp. I can't get enough of it, and I want to eat it everyday. In fact, I have eaten it 3 times already this week. And it's only Thursday. Mmmm.

~Michael Pollan. I watched Food, Inc., was hooked. Then I read The Omnivore's Dilemma and my affection was sealed.

~Fred Meyer. I recently became a convert to that store, and I love it. Tonight in the produce section, I had the best shopping experience of my life. When I asked a friendly worker lady which one was a turnip (I couldn't tell them apart from the rutabagas), she was so kind and helpful.

~My Bumbles watch. I ordered it at Thanksgiving and got it before Christmas, and I am in love with it. Everyone should have a beaded watch band.

~Leighton's smile.

~Eva's funny comments - like tonight, when she said Jesus's heart was full of ice. Where does she come up with this stuff?

Welcome 2010

2010-01-01T20:58:00.000-08:00

Well, here we are again, on January 1st. I can hardly believe it. I promised I would come back and report a year from this post, and that day has come. So to follow up on last year's goals:

-I lost about 18 pounds over the course of the year. 30 was a little ambitious. :) And although I'm nowhere near my "dream body," I feel much better.

-I read at least a book a month, although I didn't stick to my plan at all. I decided that with my personality (continually shifting focus and interest), it's best to go with what I'm feeling at the time. I wish I would have kept a record of all the books I read - I intend to do that during 2010. I do remember a few from 2009, and I would have to say my favorite of the year was Animal, Vegetable, Miracle. In a tie for second are all the Malcolm Gladwell books I read.

-I did not have a baby. Goal accomplished. And I'm not pregnant either. Just FYI.

Other items to report from 2009:

-Andrew was gone 202 days last year.

-That's all I have the mental energy to think of right now.

Here are my goals for 2010:

-Don't eat anything containing high fructose corn syrup.

-Go to the gym at least 2x a week, and work out at home to exercise a total of 4+ times a week.

-Scrapbook more regularly.

-Be Diligent. That is our family word for the year, so we will be focusing on many different ways to be diligent.

I love a fresh, new year with 364 more days to look forward to. All those days to fill with memories. Welcome, 2010.

The abridged story of our dog ownership, start to finish

2009-12-14T21:36:00.000-08:00

How it came to pass that we got a dog:
On December 8, I got an email from Andrew that said, "Tell me you don't want this dog." Attached was this irresistible picture.

I wrote back and said, "I DO want that dog!" Hello - those eyes? You can't deny that is the cutest dog you've ever seen.

So he submitted an application to the adoption lady, Shelly. (Actually, I'm pretty certain he did that before we ever talked about it.) Later that night I spoke with her on the phone.

The next day, Dec. 9, Shelly called and we sent up a time for a home visit the next day.

The morning of Dec. 10, I took the kids to Petsmart to get the dog essentials to prepare for Angel's arrival that afternoon. Angel arrived at about 1:30pm, and when I opened the door I thought I would die with the cuteness of that little dog. I fell in love with her. We spent the rest of that day getting used to her and she to us. I went to bed that night happy and peaceful knowing I had someone there with me.

Dec. 11 dawned (not bright and early, because we have been seriously sleeping in since daylight savings), and I noticed that Leighton might be allergic to Angel. He was rubbing his eyes, getting red splotches all over his face, sneezing, and acting miserable. Benadryl fixed him right up, but I started to wonder about the realisticness (is that word?) of keeping Angel.

Dec. 12 the same thing happened. I talked to Andrew about maybe not keeping Angel.

Dec. 13, yesterday, Leighton was fine. We weren't around the dog a ton what with church and all, but I thought maybe I had been exaggerating his reaction. But my heart told me that keeping Angel was not the best thing for our family. So I sent Shelly an email telling her we would have to give Angel back.

Dec. 14, today. We made the hour drive to meet Shelly and give Angel back. I was a little sad to see her go and I will miss some things about having her. I'll admit that I cried for about 30 seconds. But I feel so relieved and peaceful now - better than I have felt since getting her. The stress of worrying about whether or not to keep her was really getting to me, and I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

In summary: We got a dog, kept her for 4 days, and then gave her back. We no longer have a dog. Everything is back to normal.

The end.

Putting it off a little longer.

2009-12-12T21:58:00.000-08:00

So I've just not been in the writing mood to tell the whole story about the dog. I will, I promise. Soon. But for now, I wanted to show you the picture that has made my day and turned my frown upside down.

I love that girl.

Munch. Munch. Chew. Chew. Swallow.

2009-12-10T20:53:00.000-08:00

That is the sound of me, eating my words. Not only those words, but alot of spoken words as well.

We got a dog today.

Her name is Angel, she is a dachsund whippet mix, she's 2 years old, and I am completely in love with her.

Whole story to come tomorrow.

Crayon cookies

2009-12-09T13:54:00.000-08:00

Yesterday for our advent activity we did something fun that I thought I'd post on here for all to see. I found the idea on Kiddley, which is the cutest blog that unfortunately doesn't currently post things. Great archives, though.

Anyway, crayon cookies are a great way to use up broken crayons. We have LOTS of broken crayons, as my kids seem to like peeling and breaking them more than coloring with them.
So gather up all your crayon pieces. Dig in all your junk drawers, search the bottom of your purse and diaper bag, and check in all the pen cups throghout the house. Peel off the paper, if any remains, and break them into about 1 or 2 inch pieces. Fill the cups of a mini-muffin tin with contrasting colors. They turn out prettier that way. I read that you should try to use just one brand of crayon melted together, as different brands have different water contents and meltiness. We used all Crayola, because I'm a loyal Crayola lover.

Pop into a 300 degree oven for 5 minutes or until nice and melty. Take them out of the oven to cool for a few minutes, and then put the tin into the freezer for about 30 minutes. After that time, they will be solid and ready to color with.

Eva loves her crayon cookies; she stacked them up and knocked them over for a long time last night, and after a while she was calling them her friends. "Mommy, I dropped my friend on the floor! I like my friends." They get a nice dip in the middle that makes them perfect for stacking, and they color cool thick, soft lines.

My Holidays in Hand pages 1-6, not including 2

2009-12-06T20:57:00.000-08:00

I had a request from my cousin Lise to put up some of my digital pages, so here they are. I took another Jessica Sprague class called Holidays in Hand, so that's her template on all the pages. I bought the most adorable kit from Designer Digitals called Colorful Christmas by Mindy Terasawa, and that's where all the patterned paper came from. The pages are really simple - all I do every night is drop the pictures in, list everything we did that day, and add it to the book that I'll print out through Blurb. Simple, but awesome. I really seem to go in spurts with digital scrapbooking. Sometimes I hate it, sometimes I love it. Right now I love it, so there it is. :)

My brush with baldness

2009-12-06T19:29:00.000-08:00

It was the night of Nov. 30. I was in the bathroom getting ready for bed and was bent over pulling on some sweatpants. Andrew was standing in the doorway talking to me, and said suddenly, "You have a bald spot on the top of your head." Hmm. My hair must be parted weird. After I walked over for him to inspect it, he declared it was a real bald spot. With panic setting in, I looked in the mirror. Sure enough, on the tip top of my head, there was a round, smooth bald spot the size of a dime. We went through the options of what it could be. I hadn't hit my head recently. It wasn't particularly itchy, so I didn't think it was a rash. Freaking out more every second, we decided to google it.

If you google "bald spot on female head," you'll see why I spent that night in tears. I was sure I was going to lose all my hair from alopecia areata. I was starting to picture my future as a wig-wearer and imagining how I would look balding. My hair is my best feature, next to my feet, and losing it would be a tragedy to me.

After a night of strange, depressing dreams brought on by my anxiety, I called the doctor first thing the next morning to schedule an appointment. Early afternoon I met Andrew on base so he could take the kids and then marched to the doctor to hear my certain diagnosis of premature and irreversible baldness.

The first question she asked upon seeing my spot was, "Do you go to a gym?" Well, you know I do. Instantly she diagnosed the spot not as alopecia areata, but...get ready for it...

FUNGUS.

What?

There's a fungus among us.

I know. Bizarre doesn't even begin to describe it. Sure, I go to a gym to work out, but it's not like I spend my time there rubbing my head on the locker room floor. How in the world could it be a fungus? No idea. Still, almost a week later, I'm scratching my head over the whole thing. Not only from confusion, but the idea of a fungus on my scalp just makes me itchy thinking about it. She prescribed me with a cream to use twice a day and a special shampoo for fungus-carriers like me.

Every time I lose a hair (and I've always been a big shedder), I silently panic wondering if it will ever grow back. Thankfully I have really thick hair, so there's lots to lose. I hope that means it will take a really long time for it to all fall out.

I've learned to part my hair so that even I have a hard time finding the bald spot sometimes. I'm prepared to start coloring my spot brown with eyeliner if I have to, to camouflage it more. And Andrew promised if I have to wear a wig, I can get one for every day of the week with all different styles.

So let me stand as a voice of warning to all you gym-goers. Beware of fungus, because you never know where it will attack you.

Oh, and let me throw in this randomness: the church has a really awesome Christmas website up right now. There are some great things on there. But my favorite, probably my favorite Christmas talk of all time, is one I found by Elder Holland called "Maybe Christmas Doesn't Come from a Store." I've read it at least 5 times and cried every time. Go check it out.

Our December so far

2009-12-05T22:19:00.000-08:00

I am doing a December advent where each day we make something and do something to celebrate Christmas. I have a digital scrapbook layout for each day of the month - already made - so each night I just drop my pictures in and journal about what we did. It's been really fun, as it's forced me to a) be proactive about doing fun activities with the kids, and b) take lots of pictures everyday.

Now that Andrew is gone, I suppose I should start blogging again. I have a really strange story about fungus to tell you when I have more time to write. Believe me, you won't want to miss it.

Just lying around.

2009-11-30T16:08:00.000-08:00

This is us.

Lying on the bathroom floor on a stack of towels while the kids take a bath. As we relaxed on the floor, I thought back to my childhood to see if I could remember a time when my parents laid on the bathroom floor together. No such memory came to mind. I asked Andrew, and he couldn't remember his parents doing that either. I said that our kids will have plenty of memories of me lying on the bathroom floor, because I seem to do it alot.

In fact, I lie on any floor alot. (In my house - not in public.) I am a floor lier. If the kids are coloring, I will lie on the floor to watch them. If I have been standing for a long time cleaning or whatnot, I lie on the floor to take a break (rather than sitting on the couch). Maybe it's because I'm lazy. Maybe it's because we have a ridiculously large bathroom, and nice little patches of carpet in the house that just cry out to be put to good use.

It's really nice to have someone to lie on the floor with me. I am having a bit of anxiety today as I begin mentally preparing for Andrew to start traveling again. I'm not sure I remember how to do this alone. I'm feeling that suffocating desperation I used to feel when we were long-distance daters and we were about to say our good-byes for a few more weeks.

So when he leaves this week, you know where you can find me. Lying on the floor, wondering what to do without him.

{This post is giving me chest pain from my grammatical uncertainty. Is it lying, or laying? Do I lie on the floor, or lay on the floor? My grammar class seems so long ago. Please don't mock me for my errors. Yes, I did major in English, but that seems like another lifetime now.}

2009-11-24T15:09:00.001-08:00

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Family pics

2009-11-15T20:54:00.000-08:00

My dear friend Melanie took our family pictures last week and she already has some up on her photography website. Go look at them. We are the first family one, there is one under the portrait section of Leighton (did I really have a hand in making that beautiful boy?), and then a few of Andrew and me in the couples section. Can I confess that I think we look amazing? I have been staring at our little family for several minutes and for some reason these pictures make me want to cry. Is that really us? For real? Thank you, Melanie. You are the best.

Wedded bliss

2009-11-15T20:40:00.000-08:00

I put a little bit of pressure on myself to write a stellar blog post about Andrew coming home. Seeing as how it was the greatest event in my life so far (besides marrying him), I wanted a blog post to match. But after having him back for 11 days now and having that long to think about what I want to remember about this time, I decided to lose the self-imposed pressure. Because all I really want to remember about these weeks is how incredibly happy I am.

When we got married, I remember wishing we had taken a picture of our rings together. You know how people do that - their rings stuck in the bouquet or some other staged photo like that. But a few days after Andrew got home, I got my own, unstaged wedding ring picture. We were in the kitchen doing the dishes together, and the kids were playing nearby. I glanced up on the window sill and saw our rings sitting there together and got the most overwhelming feeling of contentment. We belong together. I am so happy to have my Andrew home.

Homeward Bound

2009-11-03T20:48:00.000-08:00

Andrew is on his way home. He started his 32-hour flight this morning and will be returning sometime tomorrow evening.

As I spend my last evening alone, I find myself reflecting on the past 128 days, I feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude. As I said our family prayer this evening, I got teary-eyed as I thanked the Lord for this experience and his protection over all 4 of us.

There were many hard moments, and I did many hard things that I'm proud of. I potty-trained Eva. I flew alone with both kids 6 times, once where we had the stomach flu. I went through airport security alone with both kids 6 times (which deserves its own mention, don't you think?). Most recently, I dealt with all things financial when my wallet was lost. (Thankfully, it is now restored to me, along with my peace of mind.) I mowed the lawn. I nursed sick kids back to health several times. I registered the van and the motorcycle. I went grocery shopping at least 30 times with both kids. I went to church 20 times, and every time I left that 3-hour block I felt like I had just won a major battle (although many times I also felt defeated). I fulfilled my calling in Young Women's. I finished reading the Book of Mormon. I lost 16 pounds. I kept our beautiful children fed, safe, and happy, for the most part.

128 nights in a row, I prayed for our protection. And 128 nights in a row, we were blessed with exactly what I asked for. Now, on the eve of our reunion, I feel grateful and triumphant. I have come to the end of the hardest time of my life so far, and tomorrow it will all be over.

Thanks be to God - we did it.

5 years ago

2009-10-30T21:07:00.000-07:00

5 years ago tonight, I fell in love with my husband. You may remember last October when I posted about the first time I met Andrew. Well, this year it's the story of how I fell in love with him.

The point where I left off my story last year was the part where Andrew left Idaho without getting my number. (RUDE.) He had this stupid dating motto, "Don't force it, don't deny it." He eventually got my number from Clay. I had a brief 2 week (lame) relationship with a boy named Jared at the time, and I wasn't interested in Andrew much at all. He had left, and I thought I would probably never hear from him again. But he called a couple times and we had a few conversations. Nothing to get excited about, but we kept in contact.

It came to pass that we were both heading to Utah for Halloween. My little sister Sarah was getting baptized that weekend (her birthday is on Halloween), and I don't know what reason Andrew had. Except maybe the magnetic force of my stunning beauty practically dragged him from Colorado to my parents' house in Utah.

We had talked on the phone a couple times throughout the day on October 29 and had planned for all the boys to come over to my house sometime. It got to be very late at night and Andrew kept not coming, but he kept calling to postpone the get-together. It was getting close to midnight. I had (of course) told my mom about the date earlier that month, but to prepare her to meet him, I told her I didn't like Andrew and I wasn't impressed with him. I told her he seemed to lack any ambition. (If you know Andrew, you know this isn't true - but you also know that's the vibe he likes to give off.) My parents (actually, most of my family, oddly enough) were still awake when Andrew and his friends (Chris, Will...who else was there?) arrived after midnight. There was an awkward moment at the door when Andrew was the last of the group to walk in and I gave him an odd hug. He still wonders why I did that, but I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do.

They came in and sat on the couch (with my whole family present) and chatted away for a good, long while. Andrew, with his natural hilarious sense of humor, had my family rolling. (He still does that every time he talks to them.) After they left, my mom told me how much she liked him. I had been surprised how comfortable he had been around my family as there was so much awkwardness on our first date. We made a plan to hang out the next day, October 30, 2004. Early that afternoon I went to a golf store with Andrew and his brothers Talon and Perry (and Christi). I was impressed by Andrew again - especially with his killer golf swing. We seemed to get along really well and I felt so much myself with him.

That night, Andrew, accompanied by dateless Will Graff, Chris Culver, Chase Webster, and Mike Graff, picked me up and we headed up to Salt Lake to Rocky Point Haunted House.

I HATE haunted houses. I hate anything remotely scary. Why I agreed to go here is beyond me. But it was well worth the scares. Andrew kept his arms wrapped tightly around me the entire time. (It wasn't really his choice - I was clinging to him so hard he was sore the next day. I would not let him let go.) It was far from a romantic atmosphere, but that was the beginning of one of the things I love most about Andrew: he makes me feel so safe.

We left the haunted house and headed back south to drop me off. It started snowing during the drive, and I remember looking over at Andrew driving and then looking at the snow and feeling this twirly feeling in my stomach. I felt giddy, but yet so calm. We didn't talk much on the way home - I didn't have much to say. I was so happy in the dark with the snow falling and this handsome boy next to me. We got to my house and he got out of the car to say good-bye. He gave me a hug, and the feeling of his arms around me made my stomach flip again.

With the ending of that night began our long-distance dating period. I was in my last few months of college at BYU-Idaho, and Andrew was still imprisoned at the Air Force Academy. But I knew I would stick with him as long as he would let me.

In December I decided to give Andrew a gift of the 12 days of Christmas. I worked for several days on finding cute little things (like a skiing man magnet that is still on our fridge) to give him and writing lame little poems to go with them. I was sitting on the floor of my apartment wrapping all the gifts and thinking about how excited I was to see him again. Suddenly I got this strange, strong feeling that I was going to marry Andrew. I knew it with my whole heart. I can't really explain it, but it was a feeling I went back to many times over the months ahead.

I graduated from college and moved home to Utah. We dated long distance until July, when I decided enough was enough, and I moved to Colorado. But that's another story for another time. Maybe next October. :)

My body thanked me today.

2009-10-25T22:02:00.001-07:00

Because I didn't give birth.

According to the space of time between Eva and Leighton, and if I had been insane enough to do that spacing again, I would have given birth today.

Thank heavens that didn't happen.

I am happy to report that I am still a mom of just two, and Leighton is still my baby.

Hand Foot and Mouth Disease

2009-10-22T21:30:00.001-07:00

Could there be a nastier name for a sickness? It gives me the mental image of kids walking around Walmart barefoot and then sucking on their feet to get the disease.

But it is confimed: Eva has it. And considering its highly contagious nature, I was assured by the doctor that Leighton will get it too. Which means at least another 5 days of being quarantined in my house with crying children. Awesome.

On a high note, I discovered the miracle that is Tylenol suppositories. With Eva's severe aversion to oral medication, I decided that was the only option. Within an hour of "administering" said suppository, she was back to normal. No more screaming and crying - she happily colored at her art table with me for an hour, drank some milk, and even ate a graham cracker, which was the first food she's had in days. So for now, all is well.

But that may change in the middle of the night when Leighton wakes up with a fever again.

Oh, hand, foot, and mouth disease, I abhore you.

One of those days, times 93

2009-10-21T19:52:00.000-07:00

Today was one of those days where:

We woke up around 9am after a night of very little sleep.

We stayed in our pajamas all day.

I didn't clean my house at all, and I didn't dirty any dishes.

I realized as we pulled up to Jack in the Box for dinner that I hadn't brushed my teeth yet.

Leighton fell off the table (why was he standing on the table?) and started bleeding from the inside and outside of his little cheek.

Eva cried ALL day and couldn't eat anything without screaming in pain. Pretty sure she has strep throat.

We almost finished off a bottle of Motrin.

I thought of every possible way to disguise Motrin, but Eva is no easy target. She can smell medicine from a mile away and starts a temper tantrum at the mere mention of the word.

I called my mom crying.

I called to ask a friend for help, which I HATE to do, and had her husband run to the store and get us some chewable Tylenol. Which Eva still wouldn't eat, despite my telling her it was candy.

The television was on almost all day. Barney, I'm so sick of you I could throw up in your face.

I put the kids down almost an hour early, and I'm gearing up for another night of hell.

17 more days until Andrew comes home. And if that's not an eternity, I don't know what is.

Sick season is upon us in FULL force.

2009-10-19T20:24:00.000-07:00

Tonight I was making a last-minute dinner of pancakes, and both kids were freaking out wanting me to hold them. (Oh, how I love dinner times without Andrew. Cooking a real meal is no small miracle.) I appeased them with frozen blueberries (their favorite treat) and enjoyed a few minutes of silence.

Then Eva came in the kitchen and said, "Mama, I'm sick. But I don't want medicine." And then added cheerfully, "Thank you, though!" I laughed harder than I had all day. I hadn't even offered her medicine. That girl sure HATES medicine.

Midway through FHE at our friend's house, she started running a fever (I think) and got really lethargic and tired. We immediately left for home and I put her down to bed.

Sick kids - the bane of my existence. I know it's terrible, but more than feeling sympathy for Eva I feel resentment that I'll have to miss boxing class tomorrow. I'm sure I'm supposed to learn something from all of this. Patience, maybe?

I did it.

2009-10-14T18:52:00.000-07:00

After a couple months of hard work, I finally got back down to the weight I was when I got married. (Not to say that it's is my ideal, but it was a big goal of mine.)

On a whim, today I pulled out all my old "small" clothes I had been saving. I decided to try them on, just for fun. There was my favorite skirt from college, a pair of shorts I bought for my honeymoon (including the ones in the honeymoon picture above), and a couple other shorts from years gone by. One by one, I put them all on. And one by one, I was surprised when they fit. There was no tugging of the zipper, no disappointment upon looking in the mirror. Only a thrill of pride when I saw that I had a bunch of new, old clothes.

Unfortunately, they are all summer clothes, and we are well into fall now. Guess I'll have to go shopping.